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Creativity
Jul. 13th, 2010 02:22 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
Creativity
What are the main ways by which you express yourself?
What are a few aspects of your creative self that could be more fully expressed?
I mainly express myself creatively through my writing, drawing/painting, scrapbooking (to some degree...), my clothing, and how I decorate my home. I express my strong emotions, interest in people, love of beauty and fantasy, and preference for fairy tales and innocent/childlike things. I could be more creative at photography, but I mainly just take photographs for purposes other than artistic (reference pictures for my drawing/painting or to remember trips and events with people). I also could express myself through music more. I have no musical talent, but listening to the right music at the right time could be very inspirational. Sometimes I also censor myself to sound less crazy or offensive, so there are ways in which I could be more expressive.
Creativity
What are the main ways by which you express yourself?
What are a few aspects of your creative self that could be more fully expressed?
I mainly express myself creatively through my writing, drawing/painting, scrapbooking (to some degree...), my clothing, and how I decorate my home. I express my strong emotions, interest in people, love of beauty and fantasy, and preference for fairy tales and innocent/childlike things. I could be more creative at photography, but I mainly just take photographs for purposes other than artistic (reference pictures for my drawing/painting or to remember trips and events with people). I also could express myself through music more. I have no musical talent, but listening to the right music at the right time could be very inspirational. Sometimes I also censor myself to sound less crazy or offensive, so there are ways in which I could be more expressive.
My Normal Temperament vs. Angry Me
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:57 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
Wrong, wrong, wrong
What is something about you that is often misunderstood or hard to grasp, or something that people mistakenly assume about you?
People often have a hard time understanding I can be really nice a lot of the time (and mean it completely) and at other times get scarily angry and sometimes verbally abusive. I wish I didn't have such a bad temper -- at least it doesn't always come out easily. I usually have more of an anger problem when my bipolar is not well controlled, though when I'm depressed I internalize a lot of my anger. I generally like people very easily and want to make them happy, which makes it easy to appear nice or friendly. Sometimes I seem shy and quiet, but I think relatively polite. My anger can come out at people I know or strangers whom I feel are being unjust or rude in some way. I can make frightening faces when I'm angry, but I think they're similar to the faces I make when terrified, so sometimes people get confused. Even when I don't raise my voice or make threats I've been told I can be "scary." Maybe part of the scariness is the contrast with my normal demeanor. I want to become a calmer and more laidback person. I hate feeling angry and I hate feeling out of control. I wish I had better control over my emotions, in general...
Wrong, wrong, wrong
What is something about you that is often misunderstood or hard to grasp, or something that people mistakenly assume about you?
People often have a hard time understanding I can be really nice a lot of the time (and mean it completely) and at other times get scarily angry and sometimes verbally abusive. I wish I didn't have such a bad temper -- at least it doesn't always come out easily. I usually have more of an anger problem when my bipolar is not well controlled, though when I'm depressed I internalize a lot of my anger. I generally like people very easily and want to make them happy, which makes it easy to appear nice or friendly. Sometimes I seem shy and quiet, but I think relatively polite. My anger can come out at people I know or strangers whom I feel are being unjust or rude in some way. I can make frightening faces when I'm angry, but I think they're similar to the faces I make when terrified, so sometimes people get confused. Even when I don't raise my voice or make threats I've been told I can be "scary." Maybe part of the scariness is the contrast with my normal demeanor. I want to become a calmer and more laidback person. I hate feeling angry and I hate feeling out of control. I wish I had better control over my emotions, in general...
Childhood Bedroom
Jun. 15th, 2010 07:57 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
Details from your childhood
This week we'll ask you to think back to your childhood — not to analyze how you came to be who you are, but just to look around at the world you lived in. Of all the things that you took for granted as a child, some might be quite ordinary in retrospect, and some might be unique and noteworthy.
What color was your childhood bedroom? What covered the wall: paint or wallpaper? If wallpaper, what was the pattern? What else was on the wall?
My childhood bedroom was white when I was really young and covered with Disney-related pictures. I shared a bedroom with my brother and our bedding was all Disney, too. I had a Winnie the Pooh lamp. Then when I was 9 my brother got his own room and my room was painted pink and I had floral pink and blue bedding. I had flower pictures on the walls. I really miss the Disney-decorated room. My childhood was largely influenced by Disney and we went to Disney World all the time (what I most feel I took for granted).
Details from your childhood
This week we'll ask you to think back to your childhood — not to analyze how you came to be who you are, but just to look around at the world you lived in. Of all the things that you took for granted as a child, some might be quite ordinary in retrospect, and some might be unique and noteworthy.
What color was your childhood bedroom? What covered the wall: paint or wallpaper? If wallpaper, what was the pattern? What else was on the wall?
My childhood bedroom was white when I was really young and covered with Disney-related pictures. I shared a bedroom with my brother and our bedding was all Disney, too. I had a Winnie the Pooh lamp. Then when I was 9 my brother got his own room and my room was painted pink and I had floral pink and blue bedding. I had flower pictures on the walls. I really miss the Disney-decorated room. My childhood was largely influenced by Disney and we went to Disney World all the time (what I most feel I took for granted).
From: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
Your life as a historical novel
This week's little assignment is to rewrite the story of your life in a pre-technological time period. You need to follow the basic narrative of your life as closely as possible, while adapting all of the details of fit in with your chosen historical context. How easy or hard will this assignment be? What aspects of your life would require the trickiest rewriting to fit into an earlier era?
I think it would be pretty easy to rewrite my life story in a pre-technological time period. I always imagine my life as a myth or fairy tale. The computer/internet would need the most replacing, but a lot of that could be replaced by traditional letter-writing and journalling on paper. For certain time periods and places it would be unusual for me to have as much of an education as I do, but maybe if I were from a wealthier family I would have private tutors... I'd probably write myself as living a pretty solitary lifestyle with relationships based on letter writing, like Emily Dickinson, and living with my family while doing a lot of writing, reading, and art. I could have entered my relationship with Michael through letter writing. My life as it is now is pretty simple, even with all the technology. I'd probably go to more plays and music events in-person if the technology I now use for those were not available.
Your life as a historical novel
This week's little assignment is to rewrite the story of your life in a pre-technological time period. You need to follow the basic narrative of your life as closely as possible, while adapting all of the details of fit in with your chosen historical context. How easy or hard will this assignment be? What aspects of your life would require the trickiest rewriting to fit into an earlier era?
I think it would be pretty easy to rewrite my life story in a pre-technological time period. I always imagine my life as a myth or fairy tale. The computer/internet would need the most replacing, but a lot of that could be replaced by traditional letter-writing and journalling on paper. For certain time periods and places it would be unusual for me to have as much of an education as I do, but maybe if I were from a wealthier family I would have private tutors... I'd probably write myself as living a pretty solitary lifestyle with relationships based on letter writing, like Emily Dickinson, and living with my family while doing a lot of writing, reading, and art. I could have entered my relationship with Michael through letter writing. My life as it is now is pretty simple, even with all the technology. I'd probably go to more plays and music events in-person if the technology I now use for those were not available.
Backgrounds of Friendships
May. 28th, 2010 04:11 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
The Goat and the Goose
Social psychologists say that you tend to make friends with people who are similar to you in their values and backgrounds. Do most of your friendships follow this pattern?
Which of your friendships cross cultural lines, challenge stereotypes, or otherwise defy expectations?
Most of my friends do have similar values, but there is more variety in backgrounds. My background is strange and confusing and a mixture of different social classes and backgrounds. Izzy and Mireia are two friends who aren't from the U.S. and have different cultures (Izzy is from Malaysia and Mireia is from Spain). I don't think either of them are "typical" of people from their culture, though. I'm sure a lot of stereotypes are challenged among my friends, but I can't think of any good examples right now. I think it's more subtle things... A lot of my friends do have a higher education level than their parents did, but that's pretty common. Because most of my values are the same with most of my friends I don't really see the friendships as "defying expectations" even if we are from different backgrounds.
The Goat and the Goose
Social psychologists say that you tend to make friends with people who are similar to you in their values and backgrounds. Do most of your friendships follow this pattern?
Which of your friendships cross cultural lines, challenge stereotypes, or otherwise defy expectations?
Most of my friends do have similar values, but there is more variety in backgrounds. My background is strange and confusing and a mixture of different social classes and backgrounds. Izzy and Mireia are two friends who aren't from the U.S. and have different cultures (Izzy is from Malaysia and Mireia is from Spain). I don't think either of them are "typical" of people from their culture, though. I'm sure a lot of stereotypes are challenged among my friends, but I can't think of any good examples right now. I think it's more subtle things... A lot of my friends do have a higher education level than their parents did, but that's pretty common. Because most of my values are the same with most of my friends I don't really see the friendships as "defying expectations" even if we are from different backgrounds.
Incorrect Assumptions
May. 27th, 2010 12:20 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
It's not what you think
What is something that people frequently misunderstand or incorrectly assume about you? What do you wish you could tell everyone, to set the record straight?
People often seem to think I expect perfection out of them or dislike them because I lash out. Sometimes when I feel really depressed with racing thoughts I can be quite mean. Sometimes it's reasonable for me to be displeased with something someone does, but I often get too emotional and angry and handle the situation inappropriately. I wish I could convince people I don't really dislike them and can move on past the bad things, however, I also need to work on accepting I can't change people or the past. I do set really high expectations for myself sometimes, which may lead people to think I expect the same of them while I don't. I can forgive and move forward. Even though I try to say nice things to people and do nice things for people, sometimes my temper gets the best of me. I definitely don't put myself on a pedestal even though I can be critical of people at times. Though at other times I'm very accepting and get upset when others sound judgmental. I really do want everyone to just get along and respect each other. It's easier for me to work towards this goal personally when my mental issues are under control.
It's not what you think
What is something that people frequently misunderstand or incorrectly assume about you? What do you wish you could tell everyone, to set the record straight?
People often seem to think I expect perfection out of them or dislike them because I lash out. Sometimes when I feel really depressed with racing thoughts I can be quite mean. Sometimes it's reasonable for me to be displeased with something someone does, but I often get too emotional and angry and handle the situation inappropriately. I wish I could convince people I don't really dislike them and can move on past the bad things, however, I also need to work on accepting I can't change people or the past. I do set really high expectations for myself sometimes, which may lead people to think I expect the same of them while I don't. I can forgive and move forward. Even though I try to say nice things to people and do nice things for people, sometimes my temper gets the best of me. I definitely don't put myself on a pedestal even though I can be critical of people at times. Though at other times I'm very accepting and get upset when others sound judgmental. I really do want everyone to just get along and respect each other. It's easier for me to work towards this goal personally when my mental issues are under control.
Thinking -- Processing vs. Memory
May. 21st, 2010 12:52 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/2010_03_01_archive.html
Think different
If you could upgrade your own brain like a computer, which would be a bigger help: more memory, or a faster thought processor? If you could add one premium package of software to gain a special skill, what might that software be called?
Since I often get racing thoughts I'm not sure if having a faster thought processor would be good... Though maybe I'd be able to drive if I could react quickly and I'd be able to confront people about things more immediately instead of letting a lot of time passing sometimes when someone is inappropriate. On the other hand, sometimes I jump and get really upset instead of thinking things through first. I used to have a great memory, but it's gone now (I think because of Zyprexa). So I will say more memory would be good so I wouldn't need to keep rechecking things and would remember the books I read and so on.
For a special skill I'd like to offset my sensitivity with a barrier that makes my moods and feelings not so easily influenced by the feelings and opinions of others. I would just happily ignore people who were unkind or rude. I could take the constructive criticism while not being upset by the insults or rudeness. I sometimes get a lot of anxiety over reading emails or talking with someone who is a bit judgmental or blunt. Though sometimes I'm blunt, so I don't get mad about people being blunt.
Think different
If you could upgrade your own brain like a computer, which would be a bigger help: more memory, or a faster thought processor? If you could add one premium package of software to gain a special skill, what might that software be called?
Since I often get racing thoughts I'm not sure if having a faster thought processor would be good... Though maybe I'd be able to drive if I could react quickly and I'd be able to confront people about things more immediately instead of letting a lot of time passing sometimes when someone is inappropriate. On the other hand, sometimes I jump and get really upset instead of thinking things through first. I used to have a great memory, but it's gone now (I think because of Zyprexa). So I will say more memory would be good so I wouldn't need to keep rechecking things and would remember the books I read and so on.
For a special skill I'd like to offset my sensitivity with a barrier that makes my moods and feelings not so easily influenced by the feelings and opinions of others. I would just happily ignore people who were unkind or rude. I could take the constructive criticism while not being upset by the insults or rudeness. I sometimes get a lot of anxiety over reading emails or talking with someone who is a bit judgmental or blunt. Though sometimes I'm blunt, so I don't get mad about people being blunt.
Whom I Expected to Become
May. 20th, 2010 07:07 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/search?updated-min=2009-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&updated-max=2010-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&max-results=50
Who *is* that person??
We all have ideas when we're young about who we're going to be, and what we're going to do with our lives. What aspect of your current life would surprise your younger self?
I would probably be surprised I wasn't working and hadn't succeeded in some field, at least a little bit. There were a variety of careers I went through phases of being interested in when I was younger, so I don't think one specific type of job would be what I expected to have. I also probably wouldn't expect myself to be in a romantic relationship. I imagined relationships with romantic aspects to them, but I never thought of myself as having a boyfriend and husband (or girlfriend or wife). It probably wouldn't be too surprising my father died when I was in high school because I knew smoking was dangerous, though I didn't realize he was an alcoholic and that could also be dangerous (I assumed his drinking habits were normal and he'd lie about how much he drank, too). I don't really think too much about my lifestyle would be surprising to me because my interests and feelings haven't changed too much over time. I feel like I've always been the same person. I still do art and writing though I don't make any money off of them, and those were always major interests for me. Even though the idea of sexuality repulsed me for a long time (probably partly due to PTSD from childhood things) I still imagined growing very close to people when my father no longer controlled my life. I always had problems going to school, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised I'd be disabled and unable to work most jobs. My appearance isn't vastly different. I was always very small, but not bony.
Who *is* that person??
We all have ideas when we're young about who we're going to be, and what we're going to do with our lives. What aspect of your current life would surprise your younger self?
I would probably be surprised I wasn't working and hadn't succeeded in some field, at least a little bit. There were a variety of careers I went through phases of being interested in when I was younger, so I don't think one specific type of job would be what I expected to have. I also probably wouldn't expect myself to be in a romantic relationship. I imagined relationships with romantic aspects to them, but I never thought of myself as having a boyfriend and husband (or girlfriend or wife). It probably wouldn't be too surprising my father died when I was in high school because I knew smoking was dangerous, though I didn't realize he was an alcoholic and that could also be dangerous (I assumed his drinking habits were normal and he'd lie about how much he drank, too). I don't really think too much about my lifestyle would be surprising to me because my interests and feelings haven't changed too much over time. I feel like I've always been the same person. I still do art and writing though I don't make any money off of them, and those were always major interests for me. Even though the idea of sexuality repulsed me for a long time (probably partly due to PTSD from childhood things) I still imagined growing very close to people when my father no longer controlled my life. I always had problems going to school, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised I'd be disabled and unable to work most jobs. My appearance isn't vastly different. I was always very small, but not bony.
Positive Change - Facebook
May. 20th, 2010 06:30 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/search/label/gratitude
Positive change
Think of the good things that have come into your life recently. What is one thing you didn't have a year ago that is now an important and valued part of your daily life?
* Did this thing arrive in your life through pure luck, or did you go looking for it?
* How might your life be different now without it?
Well I started my Facebook around a year ago, I think, and that has been a good way of keeping up with people and meeting up again with people I used to know when I was younger. I get really attached to people so it's nice to even be peripherally involved in someone's life of whom I have good memories. I also am able to keep up with Amber more easily through Facebook than my email. Also Tim (Amber's husband) initiated positive contact with me through Facebook and that's what started our friendship and email correspondence, which has also impacted my relationship with Amber positively. Without Facebook I'd miss some people still more than I have to now and I probably would be more distant from Amber and Tim. I just had a random urge one day to try Facebook... Now I use it daily.
Positive change
Think of the good things that have come into your life recently. What is one thing you didn't have a year ago that is now an important and valued part of your daily life?
* Did this thing arrive in your life through pure luck, or did you go looking for it?
* How might your life be different now without it?
Well I started my Facebook around a year ago, I think, and that has been a good way of keeping up with people and meeting up again with people I used to know when I was younger. I get really attached to people so it's nice to even be peripherally involved in someone's life of whom I have good memories. I also am able to keep up with Amber more easily through Facebook than my email. Also Tim (Amber's husband) initiated positive contact with me through Facebook and that's what started our friendship and email correspondence, which has also impacted my relationship with Amber positively. Without Facebook I'd miss some people still more than I have to now and I probably would be more distant from Amber and Tim. I just had a random urge one day to try Facebook... Now I use it daily.
Ten Things Taken for Granted
May. 19th, 2010 04:11 pmFrom:http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/search/label/gratitude
Top Ten: taken for granted
What are ten things that you take for granted, and rarely think about — things that enrich your life or make your life easier for you?
1. My mother and her assistance to me
2. The cleanliness and safety of my house (no major mold problems, etc.)
3. Having a home to myself instead of having to live with my mother and brother (even if this came about out of necessity because my brother was trying to kill me and the hospital wouldn't let me go unless I would not be living with him...)
4. My general health (no severe health problems and my asthma has been under control since leaving my mother's house)
5. Having some talents, though they are enforced by practice
6. Not having any major disfigurements that could cause me to be mistreated by others
7. Getting approved for disability, with backpayments, on my first try
8. Having a father that worked hard, despite his alcoholism and mental illness
9. Although my tap water isn't really good for drinking, it is still safe
10. I have never been truly without friends, even if I couldn't do much with them when younger
Top Ten: taken for granted
What are ten things that you take for granted, and rarely think about — things that enrich your life or make your life easier for you?
1. My mother and her assistance to me
2. The cleanliness and safety of my house (no major mold problems, etc.)
3. Having a home to myself instead of having to live with my mother and brother (even if this came about out of necessity because my brother was trying to kill me and the hospital wouldn't let me go unless I would not be living with him...)
4. My general health (no severe health problems and my asthma has been under control since leaving my mother's house)
5. Having some talents, though they are enforced by practice
6. Not having any major disfigurements that could cause me to be mistreated by others
7. Getting approved for disability, with backpayments, on my first try
8. Having a father that worked hard, despite his alcoholism and mental illness
9. Although my tap water isn't really good for drinking, it is still safe
10. I have never been truly without friends, even if I couldn't do much with them when younger
People Contributing Joy to my Life
May. 19th, 2010 02:02 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/2010_03_01_archive.html
You accidentally made my day
Who indirectly or unwittingly contributed to the joy in your life?
Who introduced you to something that you now enjoy a lot? Who first introduced you to your significant other? Who stepped out of the way just in time to open up a great opportunity for you?
Some of my teachers in high school and college made me very happy due to their sense of humor and kindness toward me. My high school art teacher and art history teacher both made me feel very relaxed and I found my art history teacher very funny (though he made jokes based on the reading material and I was practically the only student who did the reading). I wasn't unhappy during that time, in general, but I was very unhappy in school -- it was too overloading for me. A girl in my last art class in college used to play a Tori Amos cd in the art room after class when we'd be in the art studio painting and I thought Tori Amos sounded so magical and fairy tale-like. I slowly became a big Tori Amos fan. I listened to her songs every day, often all day, for a recent period of years. I don't listen to her every day now, but a lot of days I do. No one introduced me to Michael -- he found me on LiveJournal and IM'ed me. I guess my ex-boyfriend before I met Michael opened an opportunity for me by leaving me and me feeling so lonely afterward. It's why I decided to start a LiveJournal, so I'd have more people to communicate with. It's also how I met Michael and a number of friends. I'm pretty much over the damage of that particular ex-boyfriend and can laugh at the situation.
You accidentally made my day
Who indirectly or unwittingly contributed to the joy in your life?
Who introduced you to something that you now enjoy a lot? Who first introduced you to your significant other? Who stepped out of the way just in time to open up a great opportunity for you?
Some of my teachers in high school and college made me very happy due to their sense of humor and kindness toward me. My high school art teacher and art history teacher both made me feel very relaxed and I found my art history teacher very funny (though he made jokes based on the reading material and I was practically the only student who did the reading). I wasn't unhappy during that time, in general, but I was very unhappy in school -- it was too overloading for me. A girl in my last art class in college used to play a Tori Amos cd in the art room after class when we'd be in the art studio painting and I thought Tori Amos sounded so magical and fairy tale-like. I slowly became a big Tori Amos fan. I listened to her songs every day, often all day, for a recent period of years. I don't listen to her every day now, but a lot of days I do. No one introduced me to Michael -- he found me on LiveJournal and IM'ed me. I guess my ex-boyfriend before I met Michael opened an opportunity for me by leaving me and me feeling so lonely afterward. It's why I decided to start a LiveJournal, so I'd have more people to communicate with. It's also how I met Michael and a number of friends. I'm pretty much over the damage of that particular ex-boyfriend and can laugh at the situation.
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Family Ties
May. 17th, 2010 04:12 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
Standing between two trees
Which side of the family do you feel more connected to — your father's family, or your mother's family?
What is the most obvious difference between the two sides of your extended family? What are the best strengths of each? In what way do you (and your brothers and sisters) embody the combination of these two family lineages?
I feel about equally connected to both sides of my family. My mother's family has a lot of eccentric people (some who were probably autistic) and a lot of introverts. Some, like my mother's mother, were extroverts, though. Some were interested in the occult (more my mother's father's side) and some were very religious Lutherans (more my mother's mother's side). My mother's coat of arms has a unicorn on a pale blue background with the hand of God reaching out of a cloud. I identify more with this coat of arms.
My father's side is filled with charming extroverts, drunks, drug addicts, some bad cops, and some actors. A lot of them are bipolar or otherwise mentally ill and I relate to them in that way. My father's coat of arms is red and yellow with a lion and I think a sword. It matches the family well, but less me. Though I guess I can be lion-like when I get prideful or vicious.
I look like a cross between both sides of my family, but I'm the shortest/smallest of them all for several generations at least.
Standing between two trees
Which side of the family do you feel more connected to — your father's family, or your mother's family?
What is the most obvious difference between the two sides of your extended family? What are the best strengths of each? In what way do you (and your brothers and sisters) embody the combination of these two family lineages?
I feel about equally connected to both sides of my family. My mother's family has a lot of eccentric people (some who were probably autistic) and a lot of introverts. Some, like my mother's mother, were extroverts, though. Some were interested in the occult (more my mother's father's side) and some were very religious Lutherans (more my mother's mother's side). My mother's coat of arms has a unicorn on a pale blue background with the hand of God reaching out of a cloud. I identify more with this coat of arms.
My father's side is filled with charming extroverts, drunks, drug addicts, some bad cops, and some actors. A lot of them are bipolar or otherwise mentally ill and I relate to them in that way. My father's coat of arms is red and yellow with a lion and I think a sword. It matches the family well, but less me. Though I guess I can be lion-like when I get prideful or vicious.
I look like a cross between both sides of my family, but I'm the shortest/smallest of them all for several generations at least.
What Is a Substitute in my Life?
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:51 pmFrom: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/
Out of reach
What is one thing that is in your life only as a substitute, because the thing you really wanted was something you couldn’t have?
This is a difficult question to answer because I don't think I have many "substitutes" in my life. I would say my exercises are substitutes for being able to take an actual ballet class again. It's just too expensive. Maybe someday I will be able to afford another adult ballet class. I have a book on ballet I had to have for my adult class and I can read through that and do some of the exercises, though I really need more space for a lot of exercising... My coffee table is one that has cabinets on the bottom so it's heavy to momve.
Out of reach
What is one thing that is in your life only as a substitute, because the thing you really wanted was something you couldn’t have?
This is a difficult question to answer because I don't think I have many "substitutes" in my life. I would say my exercises are substitutes for being able to take an actual ballet class again. It's just too expensive. Maybe someday I will be able to afford another adult ballet class. I have a book on ballet I had to have for my adult class and I can read through that and do some of the exercises, though I really need more space for a lot of exercising... My coffee table is one that has cabinets on the bottom so it's heavy to momve.
