Journey through Faerieland

I have disabilities, which it seems like the majority of LiveJournal users have. I'm different in that I'm slightly older than the average user, I think. Though plenty on my friendslist are my age or older.

( 365 Day Meme )

This is a major pet peeve of mine that I mentioned a variation of recently: Please do not assume that you know more than me about something regarding me. In this case, please do not assume I don't know the risks of medications I take. I know Zyprexa can be dangerous; I am given blood tests and have no dangerous side effects. It could always happen in the future, but right now the benefits outweigh the costs as no other medication helps me as much.

Also Ritalin LA does not give me panic attacks and isn't the cause of my recent meltdowns -- my bipolar most probably is the cause. I've been on Ritalin LA for awhile now, including while I was very stable, on the same dosage I am now. It calms me and lessens my anxiety and depression. Yesterday I took it twice a day instead of once and only had a few minutes of light anxiety. My brother also is not made more hyper or anxious on stimulants. He can drink a pot of coffee and go to sleep. Ritalin also doesn't interfere with my sleep. I'm most certain it is not the cause of my recent meltdowns and mood episodes. And, absolutely, DO NOT ORDER ME TO GO OFF A MEDICATION! You are not my doctor. I highly doubt you know more than my doctor (or even me, no matter how arrogant that sounds). If you have a suggestion or question, that is fine. But do not say I have to do something/can't do something or talk down to me like I don't understand myself or my medications.

Edit: To further explain, though, I do like when people suggest I look into trying different medications if I'm having a problem and saying why this other medication might be more helpful. I also like supplement suggestions as I don't know much about supplements.

LiveJournal is acting up for me, but so is the whole internet. It just seems now everything but LiveJournal is working again. I hope to finish reading Wizard and Glass today (I've just been reading about 100 pages a day of Stephen King's books). Michael and I will do the typical daily things we do, but I don't know if there's also something else we will do. If it's not too cold I'd like to go bike riding. I also intend to do more stretching, like last night. I don't really feel more flexible yet, but hopefully that will come. I wish my anxiety would stay away. Even when things are going well I feel anxious; I think this is because I've spent years being very anxious over select people and it's very difficult to let that pattern go. I feel a lot more kind and accepting when my anxiety is under control. It actually takes a whole lot for me to dislike a person usually (though usually when I dislike a person I seethe in anger...). I feel so much calmer and able to think clearly when my anxiety is controlled by my medications. Ideally I'd like to be able to cope with anxiety on my own, but it's still too severe and I need my life to feel more stabilized.

For some reason LiveJournal didn't work for me for a couple of hours...

I can't find my post on crossposting and my semagic is not crossposting. I have it set up to post to livejournal or insanejournal but it won't post to both at the same time, even though "multiple journals" is an option. I didn't use the initials (ij, lj) because I couldn't get it to accept those added on at the end of the username. If someone knows what I'm doing wrong, please let me know.

**It says something about "adult content" and won't post to one.

I did it the "long way" but I finally have my mood theme up! Now I just have to credit it in my user info:D

I am having to reinstall programs onto my computer. I need to know how to crosspost to InsaneJournal and LiveJournal using semagic. I don't remember how to do this and in my past post on it the link to the instructions doesn't work. If someone knows how to do this, please let me know.

Edit: I got instructions and now it works:-)

I just found and joined the community literaryquotes last night. I am putting numerous entries from there into my livejournal "memories." I just saw the movie Atonement and want to read the book soon.

I love the book Kafka by the Shore (but I just love Murakami, in general) and I just mentioned House of Leaves the other day, in my post on the musical artist Poe:-)

Atonement by Ian McEwan
"She could write the scene three times over, from three points of view; her excitement was in the prospect of freedom, of being delivered from the cumbrous struggle between good and bad, heroes and villains. None of these three was bad, nor were they particularly good. She need not judge. There did not have to be a moral. She need only show separate minds, as alive as her own, struggling with the idea that other minds were equally alive. It wasn't only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you. And only in a story could you enter these different minds and show how they had an equal value. That was the only moral a story need have."

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
“Sometimes fate is like a sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you should imagine."

House Of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
"Myth makes Echo the subject of longing and desire. Physics makes Echo the subject of distance and design. Where emotion and reason are concerned both claims are accurate.

And where there is no Echo there is no description of space or love.

There is only silence."

Sometimes I haven't been editing my posts before posting them, which can be an issue because I drop words or use an adverb when I mean an adjective, and various other issues like that. Normally I love editing, but sometimes I get in moods where it's stressful to think about writing at all. I get something in my head I can't move past until I've tried to translate it into concrete written/typed words. Often that results in me compromising and writing up a post quickly so I can mentally move forward, but there are scattered errors. I'm going to try and get back into editing regularly because I don't like having tons of errors in my writing and I want people to understand me. Nobody commented on the issue, I've just been going back and editing my posts days later recently, and I was doing that again today, so I thought I would mention it.