unico_love: (childlike empress)
I really like the book Anam Cara ("soul friend") very much so far, though I have to read it very carefully to ingest everything. A lot of the descriptions of eternity and love being the basis of our souls resonate very deeply with me. There are some things this book has brought to my attention that I need to work on -- like appreciating my body and my senses. I'm very inwardly drawn a lot of the time, and though my senses tend to be hyperactive, at other times I drown everything out. I am awkward with my senses and get confused. I'm not comfortable with having a body. This book discussed how our souls encompass our bodies and our senses are our connection to the external world. Our bodies are part of divinity and should be appreciated. I should try to keep this in mind. I also need to work on accepting change. I tend to be resistant to change (sometimes even "good" change), but change is constantly occurring and is an invigorating part of life. The soul really is mysterious and we can't see all of it, just parts. There is inherent mystery in life and souls, and there's an inherent unity in everything (I am in everything and everything else is in me). I believe in panpsychism, pantheism, and animism. I believe divinity is everywhere, which makes this book relevant to me because similar beliefs are shown there. I have to also learn to be more yielding, open to possibilities, seeing everything as an adventure, and not fighting life. Life holds many magical potentials and being rigid only limits me. Another interesting thing was the idea that we should be gentle with ourselves (what my psychologist has told me before); we should accept our more negative qualities and work with them, try to use them to our benefit and transform them into something positive in a natural way instead of just trying to cut out the parts of ourselves we dislike.

By the way, I found that skirt I was so worried over.
unico_love: (crystal ball)
My stomach was bothering me again this morning. It seems to be worst in the morning... It might be because I take my nightly medication on an empty stomach. Then I ate Raisinets:P I did take Zofran for my stomach, but eating chocolate on an already bothered, empty stomach isn't a good idea for me. Oatmeal tends to give me a stomachache, too, so I should probably wait awhile before having some. I wish I still had Ovaltine so I could have chocolate milk...

I'm hoping to achieve more today than I did yesterday. I'm watching VH1 and it's so easy to get sucked into its nonsense>_< I watched their OCD program (which reminded me to call Michael to remind him to call the local OCD therapist again). I really liked the big man who was afraid of being a killer. He looked scary, but he was so sweet! I really didn't agree with something they made someone do as exposure therapy (I think his name was Kevin?) He is afraid of hexing people accidentally so they made him do a hex with candles in this creepy psych ward room, condemning him and his family to hell. I have religious scrupulosity obsessions and used to do really long, obsessive prayers (that I've managed to get a bit under control), so I really empathized with this person and I do not think it's right to make someone do a "hex" if it's against their religious beliefs. Maybe the more science-oriented therapists don't see it as a big deal, but a lot of people have religious beliefs that would cause them to differ. I would have freaked out if I was forced to do a hex, too, without saying a prayer afterward to "undo" it.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
From: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/

A higher power:

Are you a religious person? Do you currently believe in God, some other god(s), or any deity or supernatural being?


I'm not a religious person in terms of going to church or anything, but I pray daily and believe in God and life after death. I was raised Christian (but not really strictly so) so a lot of my beliefs are influenced by Christianity. I pray to both God and Jesus, even though I think it was very possible Jesus was "just" human. I believe there is an all-powerful force of love in the universe that sometimes is called "God" and because of how broad this power is it can manifest as a personal god/respond and interact spiritually with humans and other beings. I think there is a bit of God in everyone and everything -- everything has a divine spark. I believe there are other beings than beings on this planet or this plane of existence, in addition to a monotheistic-type God. Some may call some of these spirits gods or angels or by some other name. I don't think that the human interpretations of God are very accurate because our minds are so limited, but I believe we can feel a divine power and that we can be understood and loved by this divine power.

I do think we also have free will and that accounts for a lot of pain in the world. I don't think God always answers to our beck and call. I believe no spirit/soul ever truly dies and I believe everyone can be forgiven and loved. Bad experiences in my life have not led me to doubt this. Considering how much other people suffer, often beyond my comprehension, I think it would be ridiculous to believe or not believe in a loving God(s) just because I have had some problems in my life. I just feel God is with me, even when I feel terrible, so it's instinctive for me to have these beliefs. Although I am monotheistic/almost pantheistic, I respect beliefs in other gods (though to me I see them all as sides of one impossible to comprehend higher source of love); I believe archetypes are very powerful and our religious beliefs can be tied to archetypes and which archetypes ring true for each of us as individuals. I believe everyone's spiritual/religious beliefs are best for them and have no desire to convert anyone to my beliefs, though I wish more people would be open to other beliefs and the fact that they don't know everything about the world. I've had ecstatic experiences due to my religious beliefs and God feels very real to me. I feel I do need more faith, though, that things will turn out okay.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
"First is the preparation stage, when you identify what brings you joy, satisfaction, and engagement, and also what brings you guilt, anger, boredom, and remorse." From: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/start-.html
I am going to try to start my own "Happiness Project," but my resolutions will basically be the same as the 101 Things to Do in 1,001 Days. I might make a shorter list for this project or I may just make different, related lists.

I'm putting this under a cut because it's so long:

What Makes Me Happy )



What Makes Me Unhappy )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Even though I don't fit into a specific religion's doctrine, I do believe in God and pray. I feel it's right to try and love every living thing (and nonliving things) unconditionally and treat them with respect. I don't always do this. I know everyone has issues and makes mistakes, but I know I am not doing my best. It's very easy for me to like people and to think positively of them, and it takes a lot for me to dislike someone, but I have certain triggers that make me lash out. That's inappropriate. Even if it's hard and I have to stand up for myself, I should do it calmly and with respect. And even if it's hard to love some people, I should try. Even when forgiveness is difficult because the person isn't at all sorry, I should be wary of them yet forgive them "for they know not what they do" as the saying goes. I want to be a kind person and not just to people where it's easy, but in difficult situations too. I want to reach the point where I always act out of love.
unico_love: (Delight)
Here's something I wrote someone in an email about my spiritual beliefs:

My father was Irish Roman Catholic (not practicing, though he went to Catholic school) and my mother is a Scandinavian Lutheran (mixed in with a variety of other beliefs like reincarnation). I wasn't raised that religiously, at least not directly. I did spend 3 years at Catholic school and I went to Sunday school (like church classes) at a Lutheran church for a few years when I was quite young. I believe in God and pray daily, and I do believe in Jesus, but I don't tend to think of him as the same as God. I think it's quite possible a person like Jesus existed, regardless of whether miracles were involved, but I do believe in miracles (and I think even if things are later explained scientifically it doesn't make the world less magical).

I believe everything is occurring at the same time and we are just limited by our brains into seeing things sequentially and with time, but after death/not inside bodies we see our lives and everything else spread out right before us. We understand other people and creatures and all sorts of things much better when not in bodies/in this time/space existence. I believe in reincarnation, but that it's optional, and though we are supposed to learn things from life it is not straightforward and it's not where people who are good in one life get a better life in the next incarnation or anything like that. I try to learn from my life and my mistakes (which I make a lot of), and though I've often been very depressed in more recent years, I never think life has been "unfair" to me. So many people suffer so much worse...

I think it is our duties to cause as little pain as possible and to do as much as possible to help other living beings to be happy, comfortable, and learning along their own path. I believe plants and animals all have souls, and I believe in the potential for more vague nature spirits, and that possibly every living thing (and possibly unliving) has a soul and that we are all connected to God/part of God lives within us. I believe all souls are innately pure and good and it's ignorance (or sometimes biological issues) that cause us to be intentionally cruel or destructive. Even though God is always with us, I think we're on a constant movement closer/further to/from God in our journeys. I like a lot of Origen's religious opinions/writings.

Fate

May. 7th, 2009 11:43 am
unico_love: (ecstasy)
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I don't know. I believe in synchronicities (meaningful coincidences). And I believe some paths are more likely for each of us to follow, but I believe we each have free will and can change the path we are on. I believe there are things that are "right for us" that we can follow or choose to ignore and maybe spend more time struggling to understand ourselves and make the best of a situation. I think there are important things (even small things) that could happen and be very meaningful, but that we can turn away from them.
unico_love: (Default)
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I don't have strict beliefs on what happens after death, having no memories of an afterlife following an incarnation, but I do have some beliefs that feel right to me. I believe all living beings (and possibly nonliving) have souls that are immortal. I believe eternity is the natural state of the universe, that all things really occur simultaneously and time is an illusion. I believe there is another plane of existence besides earth and that our souls also reside there. I also believe at least some souls reincarnate. I don't believe these reincarnations are a punishment of some sort, though I do believe there is at least some degree of choice involved.
unico_love: (unico)
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Unicorn, of course! I've written about what unicorns mean to me in other entries, so I won't repeat myself here. As far as "real" animals, I'd choose rabbit. I'm nervous and observant like them, and tend to run away when people come near. I might have written about them in my journal, too... I've always wanted a pet rabbit.

Totems

Aug. 27th, 2008 04:58 pm
unico_love: (amalthea)
Today I got some confusing not-so-fun-mail as well as some really fun mail (2 books -- gifts from a friend!). One was on totems and one is based on a fairy tale and is called East (Based on East of the Sun, West of the Moon). I already read the totem book. I relate to the idea of having totems and here are three I relate to in different ways, rabbit being the more generalized one.

My Totems )
unico_love: (Delight)
A Prayer )
unico_love: (Default)
I'm reading Purity of the Heart is to Will One Thing, by Soren Kierkegaard, one of my favorite authors. I really relate to his ideals and experiences. This book has been very uplifting for me and I agree with a lot of it. He's a Christian writer, but this book has a lot of Buddhist undertones and in many ways is practical about coping through life and maintaining a desire to create love in the world. So I would recommend it, certainly, for non-Christians, as well. I'm about halfway through right now.

Quotes that are helping me right now:

"But here on earth, Good is often temporarily rewarded by ingratitude, by lack of appreciation, by poverty, by contempt, by many sufferings, and now and then by death. It is not this reward to which we refer when we say that the Good has its reward. Yet this is the reward that comes in the external world and that comes first of all. And it is precisely this reward which the man is anxious about, who wills the Good for the sake of no reward" (72).

"Oh, Though the Good's wonderful at-oneness with thyself that protects thee from being deceived! When, for the sake of the reward, a double-minded person only pretends to will the Good, and he seems to get the reward, nevertheless he does not get it. For that which he gets, he does not get as reward--for the Good. So far is he from getting it as reward that rather at that very moment that he receives the Good, he discovers that the reward has vanished" (73).
unico_love: (Default)
Really great quote, expanding on some of my contemplation of love. This is from Starmaker and was posted in my insanejournal by [livejournal.com profile] hand_of_paper:

That first quote reminds me of a passage from Star Maker, in which he's visiting an alien race with telepathic tendencies:

"Throughout history the finer minds of the race had realized that the supreme temptation was the surrender of individuality to the tribe. Prophets had over and over again exhorted men to be true to themselves, but their preaching had been almost wholly vain. The greatest religions of this strange world were not religions of love but religions of self. Whereas in our world men long for the utopia in which all men shall love one another, the "Echinoderms" were apt to exalt the religious hunger for strength to "be oneself" without capitulation to the tribe. Just as we compensate for our inveterate selfishness by religious veneration of the community, so this race compensated for inveterate "gregism" by religious veneration of the individual.
In its purest and most developed form, of course, the religion of self is almost identical with the religion of love at its best. To love is to will the self-fulfillment of the beloved, and to find, in the very activity of loving, an incidental but vitalizing increase of oneself. On the other hand, to be true to oneself, to the full potentiality of the self, involved the activity of love. It demands the discipline of the private self in service of a greater self which embraces the community and the fulfillment of the spirit of the race.
But the religion of self was no more effective wit the "Echinoderms" than the religion of love with us. The precept "Love thy neighbor as thyself," breeds in us most often the disposition to see one's neighbor merely as a poor imitation of oneself, and to hate him if he proves different. With them the precept "Be true to thyself", bred the disposition merely to be true to the tribal fashion of mentality."

That seems rather hopeful to me...

And I love this song I downloaded after hearing the Mac commercial that features it. It seems so innocent and hopeful, as well (New Soul by Yael Naim).
unico_love: (Delight)
I forgot when I was really depressed how much better reading Kierkegaard could make me feel. Looking back on everything that has happened recently, I possibly relate even better to what Kierkegaard wrote. It all makes sense to me in my life and my hardest times, as well as my ideals and highest goals. There's still a lot more by him I want to read... My approach toward life and my more religious experiences make sense and fit very well with his ideas (and his experiences in some ways, from what little I know of his actual life experiences...) Focusing on all of that, his philosophy and my feelings/thoughts in my greatest and most transcendent states of mind, helps me move forward and not shatter so terrible. It all reminds me of how I blow things out of proportion, hyperfocus on details that really don't affect (or at least don't hurt) anyone but me. I need to "get over myself" in a lot of ways, get out of myself instead of dwelling on the past and getting lost in my emotions and desires. I know I'm not the most selfish person ever to exist, I'm not saying that or making some kind of exaggeration, but there is a distinct correlation between my deepest points of selfishness/self-centered concern and my deepest depression/most cruel acts. The more I feel I'm transcending my "self," the more relaxed and strong I feel. I don't know, I just hope someday to become a better person. There are so many things I am trying to work on and be aware of.
unico_love: (snow white)
About Perception )

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