unico_love: (crystal ball)
Not feeling anxious unless I leave my bed. Occasionally I can go out shopping, if there is a hint of a "reward." I overdraw my bank account by $4, but didn't get penalized. I also went over my credit card by about the same amount, but didn't get penalized. I've been taking from savings. I guess overspending has been helping me avoid my real problems and acted as a form of escapism. I've bought a lot of new clothes because nothing in my closet fits. Still gaining weight... I'm going to get my colors done into a personalized fan, which my mother thinks is a waste of money. Well buying new clothes in styles and colors that look good on me and obsessing over the color and style analysis is taking my mind off the fact that I look pregnant and feel fat. It's either this or *completely* starve myself and then end up back inpatient in the ED Ward and spend the money on that instead. Which would she prefer? I mean, I have no appetite. It's common at 11pm for me to ask Michael if I had remembered to eat that day.

John Kitchener, my favorite color/style analyst, I think, considers me half Romantic and half Youthful (AKA Ingenue in other systems). Both are completely yin. He said to think "Marilyn Monroe meets Emma Stone." That made me feel a little better about my appearance. I never before cared for Marilyn Monroe, but now I'm starting to. I want to learn more about her and watch "My Week with Marilyn" because she sounds like she was a very sweet and naive person. I'll always be an Audrey Hepburn first first, though. When I'm healthy my weight/size is a little closer to Audrey's (by a *smidge*) but I have a more rounded figure than her still and a face more like Marilyn's. So, still more of a Romantic.

John also said, color-wise, he saw Winter, Spring, and Summer in me and that I'm a tough case (no wonder I kept switching what season I thought I was!). He could see me as a Snowflake Winter (the shortest and most delicate -- personality-wise like Snow White or Alice from Alice in Wonderland), a Soft Spring, or a Summer. He said he saw a lot of "Subtle-Blended in me, AKA Summer). He is coming out with a book explaining all this next year. Very excited about it! He's a very kind man who adopted a litter of kittens (6!) and wrote on my FB and conversed with me despite his business and my inability to pay him. It's good I've decided to go the route of having a personalized fan made instead of a draping given that I probably don't fit neatly into one season (I'll see what my analyst has to say, but I think she agrees, as most do, that I am LSp mostly). I'm also a "Playful Winter: The Ballerina" in another typing system, which I love.

My mother is really tense and anxious lately and often takes it out on me. That makes me anxious and I feel like a failure. My brother can also have a snobby attitude, like he's in-charge of my mother's house. All the cats are over there now as she tries to sell this house. I still haven't gotten my salivary cortisol test results back! As I said before, I have osteoporosis and got those results back.

Izzy is back in the US! Saw her in Chicago first for a showing of My Neighbor Totoro and then to see the Chicago Art Institute's museum. We saw a special showcase of Impressionism, Fashion, and Modernity. Impressionism is my favorite so I'm so glad we went and saw it! I'd wanted to see it since I'd last been in Chicago months ago and I saw a poster for it at a bus stop. I was in a lot of pain, though, in my legs, hips, lower back, and shoulder wear I keep my purse. Maybe due to not enough exercise? I have no idea. I am okay sitting in bed, but sleeping or walking/standing hurts.

Today I went to a thrift shop today and bought a lot of tops, mostly in corals, light blues, and dark purples. I couldn't fit into a Medium Aeropostale top. That was... upsetting. At my healthy weight I comfortably wore a Small from there, both top and bottom.
unico_love: (sailor moon beauty)
Today had its good points and its bad points. I felt super talkative and active until around 4:30pm, when the nightly anxiety set in. I was surprised, because usually it happens after sunset. I was panicking a lot, unsure if Michael and I should go to the church's Young Adult Group tonight. I took 1200mg Neurontin instead of 300 (because I'd also tried 600 and 900 in the past to no avail) to help my anxiety. While driving to YAG I decided I was too anxious to go sit there for a couple hours about how to be a more welcoming congregation to LGBTQ (is that right? I'm really off right now). I wish we had gone because Charlotte, the intern, is a very spiritual person we would like to talk to, especially since she's leaving in a few weeks. It sounds like few people went to YAG:( So I do feel guilty.

We went into Walmart (it was on the way to the church) and I bought Michael a pair of cheap pants as part of his Valentine's Day gift. We also bought other things... Like cookies>_> Of which I chose to partake in large quantities. My anxiety was so relieved that I could handle the maze of checkout at Walmart. That is rare for me! Then Michael stopped at a couple groceries stores (I stayed in the car reading). Then we put on Wayne's World 2 and played Scrabble. I started feeling woozy, almost certainly from the Neurontin. I intend to call my psychiatrist Monday night to ask him what I should do about the Neurontin/my anxiety. It worked great for a month, but then the night-time dose stopped working.

Tomorrow morning we are probably going to the Lutheran church I went to for Sunday school. It is super close and seems rather liberal (a female pastor, as well as a male one, sermons concerned about the environment, economic crisis, and how "The War on Terror" has just caused more problems, etc. I hope they are supportive of gay/queer rights. If they are then I can imagine myself getting comfortable at this church... Michael and I still relate to Christianity in some ways and the UU church has been lacking in spirituality. Church friends of ours feel the same way. If we start going to the Lutheran church we will still go to the UU church for certain services (Beltane is coming up!) I guess I feel like I'm a Christian-pagan in some ways. That is something I will have to dig into more.
unico_love: (Strange Beauty)
I was really out of it last night! I kept thinking I was on Ambien because I felt so high, but, no, just Klonopin. I think my tolerance has decreased since I take it so (comparatively) rarely now. I did a lot of online shopping... My mother asked for a pretty hoodie like the kind I gave her at Christmas. She didn't ask me to buy her one -- just to find one for her that she could buy. I found a white one with red flowers on it on ebay, new, and I bought it. It was expensive with expensive shipping (shipping from Great Britain), but I was on Klonopin, so what did I care? At least I stopped, last minute, from ordering over $50 from Forever21 because shipping is free with a $50 purchase. I found a hoodie there, too, which is what led me to almost make the big purchase. I can't afford it, so thank goodness I backed out. I had some kind of issue getting the site to work properly. I also bought Michael his main Valentine's Day gift. I might need to start cutting my 2mg Klonopins in half... Which would make me happy to do!
unico_love: (Possession)
Yesterday was rather frustrating in that, checking my order status of the coat I ordered, my order had been canceled. I got ahold of a person on the phone quickly and they said the item was sold out and there would be no more available. They should have at least sent me an email saying they were canceling my order! And why was I able to check out in the first place? The woman on the phone suggested calling local stores (it has in-person stores) so I did. The one at the mall near me had a coat by the same description (charcoal, hoodless peacoat that had a belt at the waist) and I put it on hold. It wasn't the same coat!:( It had no pockets, was a little shorter, and the waist was tied instead of with a buckle. It was the same price, only the online coats (and other closed) are usually slashed in price, whereas the stores charge full-price. So while I purchased the coat online for $51.11 (my brother's birthday gift to me), I paid $65! Some of that due to an almost 10% sales tax. I paid for the difference between what my brother paid for my missing coat and the coat I did purchase. I decided I liked it and it fit well, so I kept it, but I'm still bitter about what has now in my mind become the "ideal" coat. I don't own a really fitted coat -- my coats are all bulky or big on me. I could have purchased my ideal coat in a Medium instead of a Small, but that would be big on me which would defeat the purpose of buying a fitted coat with a cinched waist.

Church was fun today. It was a Christmas pageant where random church members raised their hands to play different parts and got into costume. There was a man narrating the nativity story and more and more people would join the nativity. Between every addition of characters there was a Christmas song. Michael had to move because a woman behind us started chewing gum, but he moved near other friends of ours. A lot of the church is Humanist and Michael and I are not. We celebrate Christmas and enjoy Christmas services, though we also enjoy services for holidays and religious traditions of any kind. We plan on going to the Solstice service and Christmas Eve service. We had book club after church today. The book was Griftopia and about the economy problems in the US. It was very depressing and I only read a little bit (politics tend to trigger my PTSD because my father was bizarrely obsessed and paranoid about politics).
unico_love: (Default)
Just got back from grocery shopping. We bought a lot for just over $30!

Here is what I got (Michael bought some other things):
-3 Pears
- A mixed bag of fruit (red apples, green apples, and oranges)
-Strawberries
-Blackberries
-1 cucumber
-Tomatoes
-Smoked turkey lunch meat
-Trail mix granola bars
-Chocolate mousse low-fat yogurt
-Raspberry low-fat yogurt
-Dill pickle spears
-2% milk
-Water

I also have:
-High fiber maple and brown sugar oatmeal
-High fiber bread
-Honey (I don't think that's too unhealthy, is it?)
-Cheerios
-Luna bars
-Oats and honey granola bars
-Apple juice
-Green peppers
-Assorted less healthy things I will eat sparingly
unico_love: Snow White (innocence unicorn)
I don't really know... I like Target and I like a lot of Juniors clothing stores (I tend to prefer the styles of Juniors clothing, though I'm a little old for it). My least favorite store is Walmart. That is sensory hell, at least the one near me.

365 Day Meme )

Hot Day

Jul. 18th, 2011 09:16 pm
unico_love: (Delight)
Today I briefly went swimming in my mother's boyfriend's pool down the street. My new bathing suit seems to fit pretty well... Then we went grocery shopping and I bought a lot of relatively healthy foods since mostly I eat junk. I read more Russian fairy tales and streamed the movie Cyberbully which just came out on ABC Family. Michael and I might watch some anime tonight. My brother might sleep over tonight because there's no air-conditioning in my mother's house (there is in my house and my mother's boyfriend's house -- where my mother usually sleeps). I have had temptations to spend money, but so far have not given in. I'm going to do stretches now and draw a bit. My mood today has been pretty stable aside from the anxiety of leaving the house to go to the grocery store. I also had my credit card paid off online! It was taken out of my checking account. That will be an easier way to pay.
unico_love: Snow White (innocence unicorn)
I've been quite busy lately with Michael and Maria. Maria goes home tomorrow:( Today we are finishing watching Neon Genesis Evangelion, going to Quest books (a bookstore filled with religious/spiritual/philosophical materials), and the young adult group meet up at the church, where if the weather permits, there will be a bonfire. Also we will each share something meaningful to us -- I'm going to bring two Emily Dickinson poems.

We went to a cemetery to do ghost hunting and did that last night in my mother's house and her boyfriend's house. Her boyfriend's house seems likely haunted -- there was more activity and more bizarre shadows and orbs than in photographs from my mother's house. The house is the oldest on the street and the most activity was right where the original doorway was. Also my mother's boyfriend hears noises like a squirrel rolling an acorn or walnut down plywood at 4am exactly and there is no way for this to be happening in reality. Maria left her recorder up in the attic overnight and back home she will inspect her recordings.

We also went to Woodfield Mall yesterday. Michael bought me a cute floral romper from H&M (they seem to vanity size a lot less than other stores, and fortunately the outfit fit even though it was a bigger number than I usually get -- and it was the only romper that small). I bought Michael a brown bear pillow pet (different company than the usual ones, though). We then stopped at Mitsuwa Marketplace and Maria and I ate there (I had a teriyaki burger, which was okay).
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I can't focus... I don't know why. I go through periods like that. I keep having the desire to shop, but I'm trying to keep it under control. I worry about things that are on-sale going off-sale when I can afford them. I don't need anything so badly that I should be worrying about that. I'm going to try playing Dragon Quest IV for a little while and then read. Once I start reading it is generally easier for me to keep with it. I'm still sick today, but I always feel a lot better after I've been up for awhile.
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Today was a long day of errands and we got lost at first, so I'm glad I took Klonopin before we left. Doing a lot of driving and running a lot of errands gives me bad anxiety. I stayed pretty calm. Michael had problems at the post office because people were chewing gum and it was making his OCD crazy. He bought me a biscuit at Brown's Chicken and a junior mocha milkshake at Steak n' Shake<3 I felt a bit dizzy and nauseated for awhile, such as when we were looking around the mall after exchanging a sweater Michael received for Christmas that was too small. We also stopped at Walmart, Target, and Toys R' Us. I saw the pink Memorex dvd player I wish I had (though it may not be region-free like mine is). I didn't see the thick, soft blankets I saw yesterday and greatly desired. What I can find from their online store are less expensive blankets... Still called microplush, though. I like how they have cheap sheets now that are flannel or fleece or jersey material. If I need new sheets I will buy another set like that. We also stopped at the library to drop off books and pick up two on Japan. I'm going to try and look forward to the idea of maybe visiting Japan instead of just feeling utter terror. Oh yes, and we went to another Steak n' Shake by the mall later on so I could order chili mac<3 Which seemingly grosses everyone out but me:P
unico_love: (Unico)
I went from being in a terribly depressed mood the past three nights into an incredibly good mood tonight! I feel guilty for spending so much money this month on things I didn't need and I really want to save a little bit of money, but Christmas adventures seem more important! I want to go to a German Christmas festival in Chicago and look at all the crafts and other assorted goods. If I see something I really like and it's not too expensive Michael will buy it as an early birthday gift<3 My birthday is January 13, though I was due Christmas Eve (December 24). I also want to eat all the German foods listed by the vendors! I'm usually not an adventurous person when it comes to food, but I want to try the different desserts and meat-filled buns. Not the cheese or vegetable-filled buns, though. I also wish I could try the German hamburgers and potato pancakes. And I have a big craving for bratwurst now. I'm hoping this week I can get my mother to take me to the grocery store so I can get bratwurst and buns to put them on. That way I won't be tempted at the Christmas festival to get something I already know I like and can get at other times. Same with cheese strudel (if it is what I think it is, it is something cheese-like that I do consume). We might be able to go to this Christmas festival earlier in the day and then go to Lincoln Park Zoo at night for their lights festival (like the Brookfield Zoo thing I just went to). I will have to withdraw more money, but it would be worth it. At least I am 100% done with Christmas presents and just have to wrap some.

Also Michael was going to buy me the anime Romeo x Juliet for my birthday, but I can watch it on hulu.com and will only choose that over other things if I really, really like the series and feel I will rewatch it many times. I usually dread my birthday, but tonight I feel excited about it. Zyprexa must make me rapid cycle or something, because I am feeling insanely good right now. Though usually on Zyprexa my mood is stable (it's not like my mood is going up and down so much on a regular basis).
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Today has been a good day so far. I didn't feel anxious today, even before taking Ritalin LA. My mood has been stable. My mother cooked and we ate around 1pm. Then my brother, Michael, and I played Disney Princesses Uno. Michael won most of the games and I won the least:P We watched South Park episodes, too. Now Michael and I are going to put up my Christmas tree. Tomorrow after my mother drops my brother off at work she, Michael, and myself will go to the library (I'm desperate to read the Harry Potter books now after seeing the last movie!) and to Town Square in Wheaton. There I will go to Victoria's Secret, which will probably be very crowded, but hopefully not as crowded as the mall Victoria's Secret will be. I haven't heard about any special in-person sales. I know their semi-annual sale isn't here, at least. I'm hoping that will help keep things under control. I am only going there for (hopefully!) one pair of underwear. I love the design but it's sold out in my size online. I have seen them in two Victoria's Secrets this month but didn't buy them then because they didn't have a couple other designs I wanted and I wanted to get 5/$25. I did buy 5/$25 today online because of free shipping today and that's when I found out the underwear I want is not available in "pink snowflakes":( $8.50 seems expensive for a pair of underwear (and I kind of want to get two if I see two in my size>_>), but I am very stubborn and really want them. I spent too much this month because there were so many sales. I at least don't feel too bad about buying Lost, season 6 for $24 on amazon.com earlier (with no shipping paid), because now it's back up to $41 on amazon. I'm sure a lot of stores will have it cheaper than that for the sales, but I haven't yet seen it cheaper than $24. Tonight we will watch the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special and the Garfield Thanksgiving special. I hope everyone is having a great day today, whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving:D

Also my brother and I were talking about Harry Potter (he loves it) and which house we would be sorted into. I would probably be Ravenclaw (though I didn't used to think that, despite "book smarts," other than art, being about my only strong point). Luna is in Ravenclaw and I can identify with her a bit, so I suppose that works. I insisted my brother would be Slytherin (trying to kill my mother and me, threatening to burn the house down, etc.) and he said no way, because he isn't evil. I brought up the aformentioned offenses and he looked at me like I was crazy. My mother was in the room and said he seems to have no memory of those sociopathic years he spent on cocaine and dxm. Three years ago he spent Christmas, New Year's, and his birthday in jail. He also didn't want to play Scrabble with Michael and me (which is why we played Uno) because he said he played it too much in jail.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Today I was quite anxious. This was due to some situations that make me very anxious normally, but I also might have forgotten to take Ritalin today. For me the greatest difference I notice with Ritalin now is that it helps my anxiety during the day. Michael and I left his house in the early afternoon and we had to do a bunch of errands and spending a lot of time in the car, pulling in and out of places, going on the highway, etc. all make me very anxious. I'm terrified of getting in another car accident. I also don't like being in stores sometimes because they are very chaotic with people circling around. We went inside two Walmarts, which is my most hated store (followed by grocery stores). Michael did buy me another junior-sized mocha milkshake for me from Steak n' Shake. I love them and they are so cheap in the afternoon when they are discounted.

I also was super anxious about voting because I worried there would be a line, especially as we arrived at my polling place (my old elementary school) shortly after school was dismissed and shortly before rush hour. I almost started crying because of it. But there was hardly anyone in the gym, where voting took place. So that went okay. Then we got home and had to take care of the animals and clean up. At first I was stressed, but after the cleaning was done and my things were put away I felt a lot calmer. I feel perfectly fine now -- better than most nights as of late.

We are watching The Facts of Life which is soothing to me. I didn't watch Who's the Boss? today because I just saw the final episode yesterday (which I've been waiting a long time to finally see!). Now it's starting over from the beginning and I've seen those episodes recently. I also saw The Nanny the past two nights and I've always really loved that show, even when it was still airing new episodes and I technically wasn't allowed to see if due to my strict father. Hopefully I can play that in the background tonight as I read or something:-) I'm glad to see my kitties again, though my house smells like cat no matter how much we clean it:( My old apartment always smelled fine so I'm hoping when I move back to an apartment I can prevent that musty cat smell from taking over.
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Today started off rough, with Michael and I upsetting each other during and after when Michael was writing a paper for school (I was reading). Then Michael took me to get canvases, but he was really out of it. We both weren't happy, but we talked and I took a Klonopin and things were better. We went to K-Mart where Michael bought me chcolates and then we went to the mall where I did Christmas shopping. It was fun to just look around, too. We didn't look around downtown Wheaton (where I got my canvases) because both of us were highly stressed. We will look there and take a walk around the area next time Michael is here. I have nostalgia because that's where my apartment was. I'm exhausted and we're going to watch He-Man.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Today I wasted too much time online, then went to the mall to buy a skirt from Aeropostale that was on sale. I didn't buy it yesterday because I was on Klonopin and that makes me think it's a good idea to buy everything, so I bought nothing to be cautious. In all honesty I shouldn't be buying anything since I have my eye dilation and psychiatrist appointment next week, but the skirt only cost $15 and I don't have a summer skirt that is shorter (just a longer one that I can't even find).

I feel guilty because I didn't do two things my mother asked before I left home: 1. Turning off the air-conditioning (she just turned it up to 80 -- not off altogether) and 2. Putting the bag of salt in the water-softener. And my mother hurt her back today! I feel bad for her.

While at the stores today I started having a full-blown panic attack, I think triggered just by autistic overload. I took a Klonopin at Walmart. Too many people and too much chaos. Check out at stores is torture to me. Then Michael bought me two miniature pizzas. One I ate for lunch/dinner and one I'm saving for tomorrow. He's so nice to me! Next time I will buy him pizza.

Amber and I are finally talking on msn! I'm not sure what the problem was, but we had problem getting each other to show up on our Windows Live/msn screens. We got it working and we're chatting now. Hopefully we will use the microphones soon.

Aside from panicking, my day is going pretty well, overall. I'm going to start reading soon. And I need to find that Xena episode where Gabrielle is a concubine or something and does an alluring dance and Xena is in some kind dungeon there... I simply can't figure out which episode it is and I want to watch it:-/
unico_love: (Delight)
Well Michael and I did end up going to the nearby Old Navy and I found the butterfly water bottle I really liked and bought it for $5:-) At first I asked my mother to take me because Michael was leaving today and she got very irritated with me because she felt I should have bought it yesterday when I saw it. I get really upset when people get irritated with me:-( I was indecisive about buying it yesterday because technically I already had another water bottle I just bought and I wasn't sure how much things at the ballet would cost. I feel much better now that that's out of the way, though. We looked at a couple different stores, too.

Also before Michael left we watched the anime movie Ponyo by Studio Ghibli. Michael didn't expect it to be that great but he really loved it. I liked it a lot too. I liked the similarities between the story and The Little Mermaid. It was really sweet and I liked the ending.

While Michael is gone I plan to write a short story, get back to writing a poem a day, try writing in my paper journal daily (though it's mostly venting and negative obsessions), and completing a painting. Hopefully I will start tonight.
unico_love: (Amalthea)
Recently I bought Michael and me water bottles from Target because I'm trying to buy big containers of water instead of little water bottle to cut down on waste. We each have a water bottle to use for water or other liquids. We have cups, but we can't bring them out with us, and both of us need to stay hydrated because of physical conditions. I bought Michael a nice red stainless steel one with a smallish opening at the top and it cost $10. I just bought a cheap, yet wide, plastic pink one, but the top is way too big and I always spill on myself. Not a big deal with water, but an issue if I wanted to put apple juice in it or something. Yesterday at Old Navy, with Phil and April, I saw the kind of water bottles I got Michael for $5 instead of $10 and they had some with really pretty designs (like butterflies). Even though it only cost $5 I still didn't buy one because I was worried how much expenses at the ballet would be. Things were cheaper than I thought and I'm sure now that I want a water bottle from Old Navy. Michael is leaving today and I asked my mother, but she got really irritate with me (which always upsets me) because she thinks I should have bought it yesterday and she's repainting my old childhood bedroom today. Michael is going to drive me, but it is to a different, closer, Old Navy location so I hope they have water bottles, too. I have a package to mail, too, but it will be pretty small and shouldn't cost that much to ship.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Michael and I went to visit April (her birthday was yesterday!). We went to a number of stores to shop, including Old Navy which has cheaper (and nicer) water bottles than Target had:-( I regret buying them so suddenly. Maybe sometime I will go back and buy one and keep my other one around as an extra. It was only $5 at Old Navy, but I'm trying really hard not to spend money the rest of the month. After shopping, we went back to April and Phil's apartment and played the 1,000 pin bowling game on Wii Sports Resort. Then I was hungry and we have the ballet tonight so Michael and I came home. I will wear my Chinese dress again to the ballet. I'm looking forward to it:-)
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Today I went and bought new multivitamins because I had a huge, unopened container that expired the beginning of 2009:-/ They are expensive! I bought the generic ones. Then at Target I found all the Seventh Generation cruelty-free housecleaning products, including the ones I bought in bulk from amazon.com. I guess I can just buy them in-person now (but I intend to make homemade all-purpose cleaner when I run out of that). Also I was able to get cruelty-free floor cleaner, which is what I was looking for. I don't need very much of it at a time, so I hope to make it last. I still have some Pine Sol to finish off, too. Then I went to Bath and Body Works to look for shampoo, but they only had 3 kinds in the store and none of them I liked (they were things like "orange ginger"). When I came home and checked the website again I saw a bunch of shampoos, including the one I really wanted -- warm vanilla sugar.

However, I double-checked and while their final products are cruelty-free they don't check their ingredients for being cruelty-free. So I found Aveda online, which is supposedly completely cruelty-free and bought shampoo and conditioner from them (I checked Target's website and it looked much cheaper to buy Aveda online than through Target unless someone made a typo). So I ordered Aveda shampoo and conditioner online. Hopefully I will like it, but I not too picky (other than scent). There is some debate over whether cruelty-free products made under a larger company that isn't completely cruelty-free should be purchased or if only companies totally cruelty-free should be supported. I think it's perfectly fine to buy cruelty-free products from otherwise non-cruelty-free companies because it will show the companies there is a market for cruelty free products and hopefully they will do more cruelty-free work.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I'm not planning on buying a digital camera for several months (for years now I've just borrowed my mother's), but does anyone know of any good digital cameras that come in pink? I by no means would be taking professional photographs, but I need something that could photograph my paintings well and in fine detail, possibly big enough to make regular paper-sized prints. I've looked on amazon, but I have no idea what features I need. I assume I should go with the most megapixels I can afford...? I might go to an electronics store, but if they don't have a good pink one I may not buy in-person.

Also, my bank account is not nearly as drained as I thought it might be, so I'm very relieved. Still, no more "fun" spending for awhile.

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