Journey through Faerieland

My house is small, one floor, and light yellow with a two-car garage with an attic. The rooms are very tiny and the ceilings are relatively low. There is the living room, my bedroom, Michael's little room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the big back room, and back bathroom.


Edit: My dream house would be castle-like, but with lots of warm tones and wood and gardens all around. The inside would be rather cottage-like, with wood floors and tall ceilings with wood beams showing. There would be window seats and stained glass and turrets. I would want a lot of pastel and natural colors.

( 365 Day Meme )

Today I was quite anxious. This was due to some situations that make me very anxious normally, but I also might have forgotten to take Ritalin today. For me the greatest difference I notice with Ritalin now is that it helps my anxiety during the day. Michael and I left his house in the early afternoon and we had to do a bunch of errands and spending a lot of time in the car, pulling in and out of places, going on the highway, etc. all make me very anxious. I'm terrified of getting in another car accident. I also don't like being in stores sometimes because they are very chaotic with people circling around. We went inside two Walmarts, which is my most hated store (followed by grocery stores). Michael did buy me another junior-sized mocha milkshake for me from Steak n' Shake. I love them and they are so cheap in the afternoon when they are discounted.

I also was super anxious about voting because I worried there would be a line, especially as we arrived at my polling place (my old elementary school) shortly after school was dismissed and shortly before rush hour. I almost started crying because of it. But there was hardly anyone in the gym, where voting took place. So that went okay. Then we got home and had to take care of the animals and clean up. At first I was stressed, but after the cleaning was done and my things were put away I felt a lot calmer. I feel perfectly fine now -- better than most nights as of late.

We are watching The Facts of Life which is soothing to me. I didn't watch Who's the Boss? today because I just saw the final episode yesterday (which I've been waiting a long time to finally see!). Now it's starting over from the beginning and I've seen those episodes recently. I also saw The Nanny the past two nights and I've always really loved that show, even when it was still airing new episodes and I technically wasn't allowed to see if due to my strict father. Hopefully I can play that in the background tonight as I read or something:-) I'm glad to see my kitties again, though my house smells like cat no matter how much we clean it:( My old apartment always smelled fine so I'm hoping when I move back to an apartment I can prevent that musty cat smell from taking over.

Again, I took extra anxiety medication early this evening. I tried going without it, but I was really irritable and angry. I talked to Michael for awhile and I'm less mad. He's going to try the test again Tuesday and then probably come to my house after that. I just don't deal with stress well... I wish I could find a new way of dealing with things. A lot of suggestions for dealing with negative feelings don't really help me. I don't calm down easily. Michael's patient with me, so I have to be patient with him, too. I'm about to start reading Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety with Beauty and the Beast playing in the background.

Soon someone is coming out to work on my electricity and such. An electrician was here a little while ago, but there's someone else she needs to contact to fix things. This house is just so old... I feel really awkward when strangers are at my house. I have no idea what to say and usually just say "hello," answer questions, and continue what I'm doing.

Michael and I just measured my kitchen to put down the new flooring we will buy tomorrow. My mother will do most of the hard work:-( I feel bad about it. I'm so bad at some of this house stuff... It is my birthday present from her. Hopefully this new tile will be easier to clean, but the tile that's there now is ancient. Also I found out from my mother that stoves/ovens cost about half of what I thought they did and I think she'll buy us a new one when this (very, very old) one dies finally. It doesn't work great, so sometimes we use my mother's oven/stove. I feel like we are finally making this our home. We still have much work to do, especially since Michael will be moving in. I hope we have room for everything. I have more stuff at my mother's stuff (trinkets and collections) that I'd ideally want to bring back here. But I have an idea for rearranging a few light tables.

Apparently the people who are going to remodel my bathroom are going to start work on it this upcoming week (Monday through Friday), so I'm going to Michael's house tomorrow to stay the week there. If something happens to my uncle (who is currently in the hospital) I will have to come home early and just stay at my mother's house when my mother goes to visit her brother. My brother is in jail right now and I don't know what will happen with him if my mother is out of state when he's done serving his 10 days. I'm packing now, as well as playing Chrono Trigger. I've felt a bit tense today, but not a ton of anxiety or anything.

My mother came over and she's supposed to get her final (big) payment from selling her business soon. She's going to fix up our houses. She's going to totally redo my bathroom. I'm going to get together all my random stuff and put a lot of it in storage in the basement and the attic over the garage. I'm going to buy new blinds(?) for the kitchen, and the horribly ugly kitchen cabinets will be painted. The back room filled with junk will be cleared out and I will put my bookshelves and art supplies back there so eventually Michael can move his stuff into the second bedroom. We will still try to save money, but there's not a rush to move. We can be comfortable here. And hopefully we will get to go to Disney World reasonably soon:-)

I put my Christmas tree up today!:-) A couple years ago I took pictures of my Christmas tree decorated and posted them, and it looks basically the same this year (same decorations and everything). Unfortunately it took my mother and me a really long time to find the broken lightbulb keeping the lights from fulling lighting. It's fixed now. The cats seem to find the tree entertaining, as they always do... It's a tight fit against my desk, because my house is tiny and each room inside of it is tiny. The new cat I have, Joey, came with a lot of big cat things (his kitty condo is huge!) I'm still having trouble figuring out where to place them all. Combined with the Christmas tree, there isn't much room to move. So I might do more rearranging later!

My house is small, but moreso the problem is that it has a bunch of small rooms when a very select number of large rooms would be far more convenient for me. I am thinking about getting another bookcase, a relatively narrow and compact one, to put against one wall where a tiny table is. My stuff is just piled up everywhere and there's no room for it. The desk I'm using probably isn't being used to its fullest because it's littered with my collection of "cute things." I have an old dresser to repaint (I'm thinking with some scrolling flower designs, perhaps art nouveau-inspired, perhaps not). That dresser is kind of broken down on the inside (not something I'd want to keep clothes in) so I intend to store my art supplies in there, which might open up a lot of space. It's in my back room where I keep my paintings (if only I had a better place to keep all my canvases... I have an entire former "bedroom" filled with nothing but paintings! I do have a bookcase with a good number of my books in there, too. And there are shelves of My Little Ponies-_- Not to mention all my stuff still at my mother's house that there just isn't room for. I need a working vacuum, but my hair on the ground tends to destroy vacuums (I'm not balding but I have skin conditions on my scalp that leads to my hair actually falling off a lot and destroying small or cheap vacuums). I paint in my living room because it's most comfortable for me. But then my living room is covered with art supplies... It's a mess. I need to try and clean more often for sanitation purposes too. There is a basement I need to clean of mouse poop, and the large back laundry room has a lot of stuff. I could maybe move more of my paintings back there. If I can rearrange my living room well enough, there's also an antique chair I could bring out front here... I need another chair. It's just space is so limited! I might just buy another small chair (even if I like it less).

Anyways, I might get a new bookcase. But not for over a month, at least.