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Today had its good points and its bad points. I felt super talkative and active until around 4:30pm, when the nightly anxiety set in. I was surprised, because usually it happens after sunset. I was panicking a lot, unsure if Michael and I should go to the church's Young Adult Group tonight. I took 1200mg Neurontin instead of 300 (because I'd also tried 600 and 900 in the past to no avail) to help my anxiety. While driving to YAG I decided I was too anxious to go sit there for a couple hours about how to be a more welcoming congregation to LGBTQ (is that right? I'm really off right now). I wish we had gone because Charlotte, the intern, is a very spiritual person we would like to talk to, especially since she's leaving in a few weeks. It sounds like few people went to YAG:( So I do feel guilty.
We went into Walmart (it was on the way to the church) and I bought Michael a pair of cheap pants as part of his Valentine's Day gift. We also bought other things... Like cookies>_> Of which I chose to partake in large quantities. My anxiety was so relieved that I could handle the maze of checkout at Walmart. That is rare for me! Then Michael stopped at a couple groceries stores (I stayed in the car reading). Then we put on Wayne's World 2 and played Scrabble. I started feeling woozy, almost certainly from the Neurontin. I intend to call my psychiatrist Monday night to ask him what I should do about the Neurontin/my anxiety. It worked great for a month, but then the night-time dose stopped working.
Tomorrow morning we are probably going to the Lutheran church I went to for Sunday school. It is super close and seems rather liberal (a female pastor, as well as a male one, sermons concerned about the environment, economic crisis, and how "The War on Terror" has just caused more problems, etc. I hope they are supportive of gay/queer rights. If they are then I can imagine myself getting comfortable at this church... Michael and I still relate to Christianity in some ways and the UU church has been lacking in spirituality. Church friends of ours feel the same way. If we start going to the Lutheran church we will still go to the UU church for certain services (Beltane is coming up!) I guess I feel like I'm a Christian-pagan in some ways. That is something I will have to dig into more.
We went into Walmart (it was on the way to the church) and I bought Michael a pair of cheap pants as part of his Valentine's Day gift. We also bought other things... Like cookies>_> Of which I chose to partake in large quantities. My anxiety was so relieved that I could handle the maze of checkout at Walmart. That is rare for me! Then Michael stopped at a couple groceries stores (I stayed in the car reading). Then we put on Wayne's World 2 and played Scrabble. I started feeling woozy, almost certainly from the Neurontin. I intend to call my psychiatrist Monday night to ask him what I should do about the Neurontin/my anxiety. It worked great for a month, but then the night-time dose stopped working.
Tomorrow morning we are probably going to the Lutheran church I went to for Sunday school. It is super close and seems rather liberal (a female pastor, as well as a male one, sermons concerned about the environment, economic crisis, and how "The War on Terror" has just caused more problems, etc. I hope they are supportive of gay/queer rights. If they are then I can imagine myself getting comfortable at this church... Michael and I still relate to Christianity in some ways and the UU church has been lacking in spirituality. Church friends of ours feel the same way. If we start going to the Lutheran church we will still go to the UU church for certain services (Beltane is coming up!) I guess I feel like I'm a Christian-pagan in some ways. That is something I will have to dig into more.
