Journey through Faerieland

Today has gone pretty well, though Michael is sick, which lowers his tolerance of his sensory issues. For instance, in church today Michael had to leave towards the end, not because of gum chewing (like usual), but because of sniffling. Though he himself was sniffling, incidentally. We came home right after church.

I've been spending a lot of time online and finished reading In the Name of Honor by Richard North Patterson, our book for church book club.

This is what I want to accomplish tonight:
-Doing The 30 Day Shred
-Painting (for a short while)
-Watching Kobato or Jem
-Call Amber
-Meditate
-Do a tarot reading
-Edit poems

I will probably do the tarot reading first...

I'm feeling pretty good about myself lately. My depression is under control, my anxiety often isn't as bad (though I still need something for anxiety), my self-esteem is better, I don't hate the way I look so much (despite not liking what the scale tells me). My new Aveda skin products from Teal are really great. My skin is in good condition right now.

My brother and I were talking yesterday and we talked about bullying. It started as a conversation of how many kids now get bullied online and it seems like more children commit suicide due to bullying than they did when we were little (though that might be untrue). I talked about how I was bullied and it didn't really bother me. If it had been physical, it would have been a different issue, but it was just verbal and kids following me around chanting mean things, etc. In second grade this one girl hated me and started the "We Hate Bridgett Club" which all the girls in our class were in. It just confused me. I got out of class every day to help with the Kindergarten gym class (an attempt to improve my socialization skills) and I was allowed to bring a friend. The girl who hated me would want to get out of class so she'd ask to go with me and I would say yes. Considering how mean she was to me, I should have said no. However, I still trusted her and did not mind her as a person. Meanness and bullying was beyond my comprehension. Even in high school I was just baffled by it. My brother said I "let the enemy into the foxhole" which apparently is a saying he just made up, which I didn't realize. He seems to feel I like everyone, even when I have no reason to, and that I trust people I obviously shouldn't. I guess that's true... The only person I truly dislike is the sociopathic mother of an ex-boyfriend. She is the closest to "evil" I have ever seen. But a lot of the time now I just feel bad for her, because she can't be happy.

Tomorrow I should be getting a new book on the enneagram. It's a complicated system to learn. I know my core type is 4w3 (my feeling type). I seek authenticity, uniqueness, artistic expression, deep emotional connection, and can be withdrawn. However, the 3 tempers my withdrawn nature and I can be very open. 3's can be competitive and ambitious and I'm definitely ambitious, but I'm only really competitive with myself. Though I do wish approval from others, so I try to impress to some extent. I do have issues with envy, which is the main vice of type 4. When I'm healthier I integrate to 1 (like 4's typically do). This means I become more perfectionistic and focused on being ethical. When I'm unhealthy I tend to disintegrate to a 2, which means I become overly concerned with other people and their opinions of me and I can become overly generous at my expense.

My gut type and second in my tritype (combination of feeling type, head type, and gut type) is 1w9. This reinforces my withdrawn nature and makes me have strong 1 qualities like the ones I just listed above. I hate conflict, like 9's tend to. I also tend to be too judgmental at times, like 1's can be prone to.

My head type is 6w7. 6w7 and 4w3 often resemble each other. I am prone to the anxiety of 6 and, despite wanting to be unique, I also want to feel accepted. Like an unhealthy 6w7, I can become dependent on other people more than is healthy.

My variant stacking is self-preservation, then sexual, then social. I am very concerned about physical comforts and my physical environment. I like pretty things and can be a little too materialistic. I like to make my home as welcoming and soft as possible. I'm also very intense and prefer deep, one-on-one, relationships. My sexual variant is close in strength to my self-preservation variant. My social variant is far weaker and I don't care much about fitting into society in general or pleasing groups (I care deeply about pleasing individuals).

This is semi-true for me, aside from the trouble following rules (I like rules).

You are in a perpetual quest to find the new, the exciting. Emotionally volatile, you are known for sudden changes of opinion, of appreciation, and behavior. Following rules and established methods is difficult for you and the difficulties of higher education are usually quite daunting. Knowledge is best gained through an intimate association with the matter at hand. Usually driven by attitudes and desires of the group, you are talented in an established field of endeavor. Emotions come and go without a strong understanding of their causes. They are unexpected guests in an otherwise placid landscape. You live by your own codes of conduct, which can be noble or terrible depending on the individual. Authority is meaningless to you. You hate to be predictable, at all costs. Rarely verbally effusive, you can at times feel as if your feelings are too deep for words. You are very observant, but rarely express these observations to others.

http://www.hypnoid.com/psytest2.html

286: a picture of what you wore today
Skipping this one for now

287: a silly picture of you/ you & your friends


288: last post you made on LiveJournal that doesn’t involve a challenge?

Just yesterday, about how the past two days had gone, as well as a poem post.

( 365 Day Meme )

1. Disney World!
2. Cheesecake ice cream
3. Michael being happy
4. Spending time with friends
5. Reading my favorite books

( 365 Day Meme )

245: what is the compliment you get most, what is the compliment you give most?

I get complimented on having "interesting" eyes a lot and the compliment I most often give is telling someone how kind or pretty they are, I think. It depends on the situation. I always mean my compliments, though:-)

( 365 Day Meme )

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

I'm Bridgett/unico_love.


1. I'm autistic
2. I'm just over 5' tall
3. I live next to my mother and brother
4. I have brown eyes and brown hair
5. I had mononucleosis at age 21, but no symptoms
6. I had a spontaneously detached retina at age 15
7. I have three cats -- Mrs. Bates, Joey, and Bunny
8. I love Disney World and will probably be going back next year
9. My favorite color is pale pink
10. I love fairy tales and want to live a fairy tale life -- the good elements of fairy tales
11. I draw and paint and write
12. I love reading a variety of genres
13. I love cherry blossom trees and magnolia trees
14. I don't have many friends I can see in-person regularly
15. I attend a Unitarian Universalist Church

( 30 Day Meme )