Journey through Faerieland

Today I was not very anxious. I did feel like fainting when I woke up, though. My head felt heavy and cold, my hands felt cold. Upon standing, I swayed and saw black. So after breakfast (oatmeal) and not feeling better, I had some chicken, which helped very quickly. It had been a couple days since I'd had meat. I'm super reliant on it. I'm going to try rice and beans since it's supposed to also be a complete protein. I felt tired from the Valerian I took earlier and laid down in bed for awhile. I finished reading a book. I felt steady enough to shower and afterwards I was freezing cold.

I received Cinderella the dvd/Blu-ray combo in the mail today, as well as my neuro/cardio bill. I was charged nothing for neuro, presumably because I had Medicaid as well as Medicare then. I was charged $80 for cardio, after I was taken off Medicaid. I just paid the bill to not deal with the hassle, though I hope I get re-approved for Medicaid. I think with my bank statement I have a good chance.

Michael and Dan went on a trip up to eastern Wisconsin, just past the Illinois border, looking at a bunch of stores. I was picked up by our friend Kat and brought to her condo where a group was playing Scrabble and Bananagrams and I watched (by choice). We talked and I had peppermint tea and we ate veggie pizza. I ate three pieces. I don't know why I didn't get full sooner... And now I'm paying for it with bad gas -- bloated and abdominal cramping. I'm drinking more peppermint tea to see if that helps.

Now I'm back at home, drinking tea, about to take my meds, and I've turned on the heat to 68 degrees. I'm probably going to sleep in the clothes I'm wearing and just take my bra off and wear lots of layers (I'm wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt, thermal leggings, lounge pants, as well as a fleece sweater. It's probably about time to wash and put away the new jersey sheets and put on the old flannel sheets. Then eventually the fleece.

My goals for tomorrow:
-Pick up clutter
-Put old vacuum into my brother's car, as well as other recyclable electronics
-Rearrange bookshelves and get rid of more books possibly
-Work on CBT book
-Journal
-Read
-Watch movie
-Back up everything onto my external hard drive
-Clean the litterboxes
-Dust
-Email/Internet stuff
-See if I have any more clothes to get rid of
-Put away/break down boxes

I've broken a couple rules and bought myself 2 $0.01 books from amazon.com the past 2 days. They require $3.99 shipping, so really it's $8.00. I already have books to read!>_< I'm also craving clothes, but I just bought clothes. So maybe this is less superficial of me? We can only hope... I also finished buying Michael's birthday presents and paid my hospital bill and ambulance bill. I paid rent and credit card and netflix. My major bills in waiting that are unavoidable: electric, gas, Valium, and cat food. Other things I will spring for are: food/coffee out with friends and the pumpkin farm. Maybe I will find myself up to buying some Christmas presents early. Who knows? I will wait until later in the month in case of more unexpected bills before I buy anything unnecessary and unexpected. I'd love to use my credit card barely at all so next month I have more money in my checking account and can pay back my $80 for the external hard drive back to my packet of savings. That would be a good start on my quest for saving. A quest that mostly will have to wait until after Christmas.

I'm mad at myself for not getting done what I want to do. I spend too much time looking at random things online. I still haven't exercised because of my stomach. I'm hoping late this afternoon my nausea will be gone so I can exercise. I went to bed pretty early last night. I just felt really tired. Today I'm going to do tarot and meditate, read my new book (The Thorn and the Blossom by Theodora Goss), edit poems, and paint. I just took my shower not long ago. I think I will start with editing poems...

Today has gone pretty well, though Michael is sick, which lowers his tolerance of his sensory issues. For instance, in church today Michael had to leave towards the end, not because of gum chewing (like usual), but because of sniffling. Though he himself was sniffling, incidentally. We came home right after church.

I've been spending a lot of time online and finished reading In the Name of Honor by Richard North Patterson, our book for church book club.

This is what I want to accomplish tonight:
-Doing The 30 Day Shred
-Painting (for a short while)
-Watching Kobato or Jem
-Call Amber
-Meditate
-Do a tarot reading
-Edit poems

I will probably do the tarot reading first...

I'm feeling pretty good about myself lately. My depression is under control, my anxiety often isn't as bad (though I still need something for anxiety), my self-esteem is better, I don't hate the way I look so much (despite not liking what the scale tells me). My new Aveda skin products from Teal are really great. My skin is in good condition right now.