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I Am Not my Emotions
Feb. 16th, 2011 11:54 amThere is something I have learned in Dialectical Behavior Therapy that is probably obvious to most other people, but it was a big revelation for me: We are not our emotions. We experience emotions, but we don't have to act on them -- we can even act opposite of them. We are not defined by our emotions and we are more than our emotions. I have always felt like my emotions were the best reflection of me and when I experienced negative emotions, other than perhaps compassionate sadness, I was a bad person. Likewise, we are not our thoughts. Our thoughts happen and have meaning, but they don't define us any more than our emotions do. Thoughts can change at any time. Like emotions, they pass. Our true self is more solid than our emotions or thoughts. We are something deeper than those things. When I feel despair I feel hopeless. I think that is the "real" me and allow it to define my life. My sense of self constantly changed depending on how my emotions changed. In some ways I have a well-defined sense of self, but in other ways I allow myself to be overwhelmed and control.ed by my emotions and, to a lesser extent, my thoughts. It's easier to like myself when I don't feel like my negative emotions or thoughts are the truest depiction of me. It's also easier for me to see I am still being honest and true to myself when deciding not to express or act on certain emotions. It also helps my relationships.
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