unico_love: (childlike empress)
I'm really agitated right now. I tried to be assertive and talked to others about a concern and it just backfired. It's so stressful... I might need to take a Klonopin.

April and Phil were supposed to go with Michael and me to the 11:15am UU service, but they backed out. We first needed my mother's boyfriend to put air in the car's tires (unexpectedly) and took a wrong turn, but got to the church on-time. The sermon was supposed to be about pluralism and nihilism, involving quotes from Moby Dick, but it was changed last-minute to be about the shooting in Arizona and the death of a couple church members very recently. Apparently the boy who did the shooting had some violent acts on his record that would have prevented him from being able to buy a gun at a gun shop in Illinois (where I live), but not in Arizona. My father was a lunatic and owned tons of guns hidden everywhere and I don't like them much. I don't think anyone with violence on their record (other than self-defense) should be allowed to own a gun. Unfortunately, my eyes kind of glazed over the readings from Moby Dick because words often get lost on me when they are spoken as opposed to written. There were some other really sad things, like this woman whose dog just died:( I almost started crying. Though another woman had good news that her son was getting a service dog.

After the sermon we talked to people and everyone was very nice. I had to explain to one woman I couldn't work due to my autism and she said it must not affect me very severe socially:P It's true my autism affects me worse in other areas and I know a lot of autistics who are less disabled than me in all other areas except socially. I know a lot of non-autistics worse than me socially. Michael's response to this woman was "it depends" and "she's come a long way." But really, even in college I could put on a social mask, even when I had trouble understanding spoken words and small talk was meaningless to me. Ritalin LA also helps. Sometimes I seem normal and sometimes people mistake me for being socially retarded. We talked to the woman who is leading the UU membership classes and she has a nephew with Asperger's Syndrome. That came up when Michael was talking about his OCD and how he may have to leave the classroom (for the first UU membership class) due to gum chewing. Fortunately he managed okay just sitting in the back of the room. The class was interesting, though felt a little long to me. The next class is supposedly more interactive. They provided us with a big lunch -- sandwiches, carrot sticks, apple slices, cheese sticks, potato chips, and brownies. Some people also got food from the potluck going on in the main room. The youth group in the sanctuary next to us was having a class on sexuality. They have a class like that starting with first grade and going up through the end of high school (but not for every single grade).

I don't know how I'm going to get there on days when Michael isn't around, but I signed up for the free yoga classes. It's only 5 classes. I don't know if I can get my mother to take me at least to the first class... She only has one well-behaved car right now and she drives my brother to and from work. Hopefully she can take me if my brother isn't working then or will get off later than my class ends. It's rather frustrating to me because my brother doesn't even have to pay for anything other than beer or cigarettes, so his job doesn't seem that important to me and I'm sure arrangements could be made...

I also singed up for this:
Building Your Own Theology

During this class, we will examine varieties of religious experience, ethics, ultimate reality, and the meaning and purpose of life. Participants are invited develop their personal credo statements: the fundamental religious beliefs, values and convictions that inform and direct the living of your life. Preparation: Short readings will be assigned each week in preparation for the next class. Prior to the first class, participants may receive the reading as a hard copy or via e-mail.

***

Hopefully Michael will join that class with me so I will have transportation. Though my brother usually doesn't work Sundays, and especially not early. I would need to be dropped off at the church before 11:15pm and picked up at 4pm. I really want to take these classes...
unico_love: (moonbeams (purple))
I did a lot of housecleaning yesterday. I am going to try and make myself attend my art class tonight, even though a friend is visiting so I'd rather just stay home... At least I feel I'm learning a lot from this class. Though on my own lately I've just been painting the borders of my canvases (not too interesting!) I stayed up late last night copying things onto my computer. I don't know what else to write about right now because I'm tired and need to go take a shower. I'll try to make a more substantial post soon (though I'm sure a quiz one will be soon again also...)
unico_love: (olivia hussey)
My brother is out of jail now. He was on suicide watch for almost the last week, but not because he was a suicidal, just because he was being a jack ass (long story).

I had my last art class tonight. I need to edit something on my painting which should be easy. I'm a bit frustrated I even made that mistake in the first place, though (a small shadow I made on a piece of cloth is way too dark). The teacher wants me to enter their gallery shows, but I didn't before because it was "highly recommended" that everyone putting art in the shows volunteer. I tried volunteering one time doing desk work (what they always need help with) and I freaked out. My teacher said virtually no one volunteers who shows their art and I should ignore them-_- That idea made me feel so incredibly guilty before. Maybe I could volunteer in some other way somehow...

I'm too tired to write more. I want to go fix my painting before it eats away at me. I left one of my paintings there so I better go get it in the next few days before I just forget about it completely. It was just one of my in-class still life studies, so nothing I'm strongly attached to (not that I get attached to my art really in the first place...)

Art Class

Jul. 28th, 2007 03:52 pm
unico_love: (red manga saturn)
Art class went okay; the time limit is still stressful. I'm in such a rush my colors get muddy sometimes and that's her main complaint about my art. It's frustrating, because I don't allow my colors to get muddy when I am painting alone, at my own pace. I'd rather get feedback more useful to me. So I'm going to bring in a couple example paintings to show I can paint with bright colors. One more class and that's it. Some of the other people in the class just work on their own projects, at their own pace, and bring them into class for feedback and just continue working on them in class. This one guy does really excellent realistic paintings. I might just sign up for a human anatomy class next time, or something, since I know I could use some work on that.

I altered my squirrel painting a bit, at the recommendation of a friend. The second painting is just the most recent class still life "study." I'm not very impressed with it. Oh well, it's good practice, I suppose.

paintings )
unico_love: (lady of Shallott)
I want to post about something from today, but it puts me in a bad mood to think about, so I'll wait (Note: Today is my brother's birthday, and it's kind of related to that...) Hopefully tomorrow. I wasn't feeling well today, and I was stressed out, so I skipped my art class again. It's just so much more physically/mentally exhausting than any art class I have previously taken... I'll probably sign up for a different class next time.

So instead of a real post, here's another personality quiz thing.

Quiz )
unico_love: (blue sailor moon manga)
Read more... )

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