Cat Shelter Went Fine, Clockwork Phoenix 3

The cat shelter went well. I did help with cleaning, but I didn't have to clean the litterboxes. Bruiser is now out of his cage and was hopping along. He still retreats to the cage a lot, though, because he sees it as his. My allergies didn't bother me at all:) I did take a Klonopin before going, just in case. It probably wasn't necessary, though. I will have to refill my Klonopin soon...

I received a wonderful surprise today -- Izzy gave me the book Clockwork Phoenix 3! I loved the first two and had not realized the third had come out. Time passes so fast for me and it feels so recent that the second came out. I can't wait to read it, but I should finish The Unicorn Chronicles first. I'm going to write my poem in a minute and then maybe eat some oatmeal. Then I will read.

Making the Best of Bad Experiences

I find it interesting how the bad experiences of our past shape us and change us. I have more fears than I did before some bad experiences happen. I guess that's fairly normal, but I let my fears get the best of me and they often turn into obsessions. Some people seem more resilient, learn from their mistakes, and live happily while just being a bit wiser. I'm shocked at how Michael's friend Dan can go on so happily despite being homeless and losing his fiance to his best friend (and she also started prostituting herself). They also stole all his savings. Yet he goes on with life, works at Walmart, and seems to be doing fine emotionally. Even little things can really upset me and make me obsess. I'm trying to think that my bad experiences that traumatized me can make me stronger in some way. That I haven't died or become permanently unhappy yet, so I should keep going on without too much fear because I will somehow recover. I still have a lot to recover from, but I'm doing better and I'm content a lot of the time.

I think sometimes I act in worse ways as a defense mechanism due to bad experiences, and maybe that wouldn't have happened if my life had gone more ideally, but hopefully it's something I will someday overcome. I want to be kind to people, helpful, and not difficult or fragile. I don't want to judge people and be cruel just because bad memories surfaced when that probably wasn't even their fault -- they were just a bystander to my personal internal drama. One of my biggest goals is to stop being verbally abusive, to stay calm in disagreements, and to take care of myself and my needs without harming anyone else. Maybe someday I will be more empathetic and sympathetic due to my bad experiences. I want to be a benevolent and patient person. I've often felt my bad experiences made me a more vicious and unkind person, but it's my responsibility to make the best of what happens in my life and to become the kind of person I want to be. All of that is more important than my goals that involve writing or art. I love those things, they're fun, but being a good person takes priority. Being a happy person, too.

Big Personality Quiz from Similar Minds

( Big Personality Quiz )

5 Gratitudes

1. Reading more of The Unicorn Chronicles: The Last Hunt by Bruce Coville
2. Receiving Clockwork Phoenix 3 from Izzy as a gift!
3. Having no allergies today
4. Things going smoothly at the cat shelter
5. Good emails and IM conversations