Idealizing People

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”
-Leo F. Buscaglia (from http://www.positivityblog.com)

This is an issue for me because I do tend to idealize others. Sometimes I get disappointed, but a lot of times I don't. I give people a lot of leeway in what they do before I stop idealizing them. Maybe it's partly because I think so low of myself and I think people have to do a lot of really bad things to be "worse" than me. I don't idealize everyone, at least, but I do tend to like people pretty immediately and for very simple reasons. I think I'm pretty genuine in how I express myself... I still act myself always -- I just often get "wow"'ed by people. I don't tend to handle it well when people really let me down, though. I have to learn to see people as simply my equals and keep the perspective that I make a lot of mistakes, just like them.

25 Good Things to Enjoy in my Life

( 25 Good Things to Enjoy in my Life )

People Being More than They Appear

"Have you ever felt that there was something going on in life that not everyone was aware of?" Rose asked, turning her mug around in her hands. "As though there's a story going on that everyone is a part of, but not everybody knows about? Maybe 'story' isn't the right word -- a sort of drama, a battle between what's peripheral and what's really important. As though the people you meet aren't just their plan, prosaic selves, but are actually princes and princesses, gods and goddesses, fairies, gypsies, shepherds, all sorts of fantastical creatures who've chosen to hide their real shape for some reason or another. Or who have forgotten who they really are. Have you ever thought that?"
-pg. 36, The Shadow of the Bear: A Fairy Tale Retold by Regina Doman

I really loved and related to this quote:-)

Respecting People I Care About

From: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
Yes I am/have/can/do!
What are you trying to prove again and again?

Over and over I blow up at people, lash out, say judgmental things, etc. This often happens with people I love and whom I'm close to -- like friends. I'm trying to prove through improved behavior and countering my thoughts and overthinking tendencies that I can respect and show kindness to everyone and especially the people I most care about. If I have a problem that isn't minor and needs to be addressed, I can do that in a respectful and straightforward manner. I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm trying to improve my actions. It's gotten easier since increasing my Bipolar and anxiety medications.

Childhood Experiences and Happiness Then and Today

From: http://www.tenthousandquestions.com/2010_01_01_archive.html

Strong memories
What events, places or situations dominated your childhood experience?

Going to other children's birthday parties (usually the children of family friends), beer (that I didn't consume), bright colors, cartoons, Disney World, being quiet among chaos and enjoying it, severe stress from school making me sick and crying from it, the Disney bedroom my brother and I shared, being bullied by school children, feeling dumb, feeling blissful happiness with my family and some friends -- despite my father's alcoholism and mental illness, fairs and festivals in the summers, going to the neighbors' homes to be with their children and going along with their games, drawing, playing video games with my little brother and mother all day long.

Lots of good memories and the memories earlier on of my father's sickness, my mother's extreme punishment of me, and the school bullies didn't effect my happiness level very much at the time. Those things bother me more in retrospect and have left more permanent effects on my adult personality. Though I'm still pretty happy when my bipolar and anxiety are under control:-) In fact, I would say I'm happier than average when my medication is working. I've always loved all of the little pleasures in life and never became jaded. When I'm very sad I'm never jaded -- just feeling way too many emotions that cause me grief.

5 Gratitudes

1. Finally watching some of Tsubasa
2. Finding my Ritalin LA, which helped control my appetite tonight
3. Michael buying me bagels
4. Watching a very strange movie called Visions of Suffering without trying to multitask, just focusing on the movie, and got through my bad obsessive thoughts
5. Uploading many pictures with minimal difficulty