I did a synopsis of my last novel today. I hate doing that. I hate doing any kind of summarizing and figuring out how to turn details into generalizations. To me all the details seem important, and I don't know which to discard and which to rephrase in a way that it general, when I didn't write what I wrote to be generalized in the first place. I can catalog details, write a list of themes, make charts, etc. but that's not at all the same thing. I used to have a lot of trouble paragraphing, too, because it seemed (and often does still seem) fairly arbitrary to me where one subject leaves off and another begins since one paragraph leads into another and they often intertwine. Writing can get so complicated... Even outside of writing, though, I cling to details and get confused and overwhelmed when details contradict unexpectedly and without some kind of deeper underlying pattern I've unveiled. Real life is complicated, and I know that, but still there seemed like things can be lumped into some kind of pattern, even if it's an incomplete pattern (whether for the time being or indefinitely). It's not even cause and effect or anything like that; I don't really think of things as cause and effect usually. It's something else, and certainly outside of linear time. I also often cling to tiny details that are unintentional or seemingly random to the people they involve, and sometimes ignore more important details because they didn't catch me with the same emotional impact. Usually this can be resolved with further information or an explanation of other people's perspectives, since it's kind of just an Alice in Wonderland affect where small becomes big and big becomes small. I try to imagine as many possibilities as I can, but without any kind of feedback they all carry the same amount of weight, or whatever weight I choose to assign them. I tend to entertain too many possibilities, usually. Even more details to complicate matters and make generalizing difficult. Not to mention every detail and experience and bit of information is so webbed with other bits, and has a specific visual/auditory/emotional matrix I feel and they all collide and harmonize in various ways; usually when I try to explain trickier matters I need to go into detail about all this to get my experience and perspective across, but it just ends up sounding like I'm experiencing hallucinations:-P
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