Anxiety Over Anxiety, Worrying About Finances

Despite doing well, I'm terrified my severe anxiety will return. I guess I'm anxious about getting anxious... I'm afraid I'm going to suddenly have a panic attack for no reason or to slip back into my obsessions. I'm not taking Klonopin, but I'm on-edge because I'm afraid. I also feel bad because I just bought a manga I didn't realize had been released (vol. 5 of The Shinji Ikari Raising Project of Neon Genesis Evangeion. It only cost $10, but I don't have much money right now and I'm waiting to see if my overnight hospital bill will come in this month. I have no idea how much it will cost or when the bill will arrive. I want to have enough money to cover that. If this wasn't lingering over my head I wouldn't feel so guilty for buying the manga. I did withdraw money from my account that I'm going to try to use for all in-person purchases this month, if it lasts. I withdrew it mostly to buy gifts at the Ginza Festival (this weekend's Japanese festival in Chicago), but I also need to use it to pay for medications, Miralax, and things like that. I know I shouldn't worry too much, because I can borrow money from my mother or Michael and if I'm careful I should be all right, but I hate dealing with finances.

5 Gratitudes+1

1. Having another low anxiety day without Klonopin where my obsessions were on objects and not on people
2. Watching more Merlin, Care Bears, and various things on hulu.com
3. Maple nut fudge from my mother
4. Finding out something I pre-ordered gets released late November instead of late August, like I thought (which means less money taken out of my account this tight month)
5. Finally getting my second Last Unicorn comic and reading it
6. Finally, after many years, finished reading my Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales book!