Controlling

I can be really controlling about myself and my surroundings. There are plenty of instances where I don't have a strong opinion and let others decide on things, but I hate feeling out of control of myself. My emotions are inherently very strong and they make me feel out of control. Besides that, there are many other issues in my life I feel the need to control. When social plans aren't very clear I get very anxious and want to make all the decisions myself or at least force someone else to. I get myself very mentally "stuck" on certain tasks or emotions or opinions. It feels painful to try and break away from them. Even little things can affect my preferences and mood. At other times, as I just said, I do act contrary to this and really don't care. Those incidents are virtually all incidents, though, that require nothing from me -- no using of my thought, energy, or emotion. I end up acting controlling with people I care about, which isn't good. I try to watch myself but I do slip up or get perhaps smothering.

Love vs. Fear

"True love casts out fear." [...]

"Fearlessness brings with it the conviction that everything in our lives is part of our destiny, exactly what we need in order to become who we really are. Not only is it all right to be myself, it is even all right to let events be themselves. This means entering into a wholehearted engagement with our circumstances rather than arguing with them. Fear argues with circumstances. "No, I do not want that. Do not let that in." Love says: "Let it all happen just as it needs to." In Jung's words, this is "the unconditional yes to that which is, without subjective protest." The givens of existence live through us with our unreserved assent."
-pg. 105-106, When Love Meets Fear, by David Richo