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I've always had a problem where I think people can read my mind. I'm not psychotic -- I know people aren't literally reading my mind; however, I always intuitively fall into the pattern of acting and reacting like people know exactly what I feel and think. Over the years I've gotten better at talking/writing directly about my feelings and thoughts and personal patterns to hopefully make a connection with people and have meaningful communication.
I hate fighting and most other people do too. I do believe it is possible, like my workbooks and some books say, people always try their best and choose the behavior that they think will best help them survive and the behavior they think will help align their priorities. Many people I interact with have good intentions and just hit a sensitive area with me and I overreact. I assume they know me inside-out and know what they are doing or saying will upset me and why it will upset me. I expect everyone's line of reasoning will match my own, because my own tends to be pretty clear and unmuddled. I think I tend to understand myself fairly well, including my faults. There are other ways of experiencing life than the way I experience it and that's okay. People have different strengths and weaknesses. I have to do my job of listening to other people, giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to talk things out in a nonaccusatory way. I have to admit that sometimes people might not have done something wrong, just something that makes me uncomfortable and hits a touchy area. It's stupid to be accusatory and devaluing of people who are obviously trying to help, just in ways that don't work with me. I have to let people be who they are and work out their own difficulties without jumping to conclusions that they are intentionally being cruel just because something doesn't go perfectly in our interaction.
This is a major reason why I usually prefer people to say that they don't know how to answer my questions (I can question obsessively when upset) or to say they're too confused to continue the conversation. I can understand that sometimes people might not understand because their brain doesn't work as mine. A neutral statement like the one I just described won't upset me as much as many other options and it will get me to back off as I know continued pressure will just confuse them further. Usually after the fight or confused conversation is over I feel guilty for saying negative things when the other person was probably trying hard to get along with me or even help me.
I hate fighting and most other people do too. I do believe it is possible, like my workbooks and some books say, people always try their best and choose the behavior that they think will best help them survive and the behavior they think will help align their priorities. Many people I interact with have good intentions and just hit a sensitive area with me and I overreact. I assume they know me inside-out and know what they are doing or saying will upset me and why it will upset me. I expect everyone's line of reasoning will match my own, because my own tends to be pretty clear and unmuddled. I think I tend to understand myself fairly well, including my faults. There are other ways of experiencing life than the way I experience it and that's okay. People have different strengths and weaknesses. I have to do my job of listening to other people, giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to talk things out in a nonaccusatory way. I have to admit that sometimes people might not have done something wrong, just something that makes me uncomfortable and hits a touchy area. It's stupid to be accusatory and devaluing of people who are obviously trying to help, just in ways that don't work with me. I have to let people be who they are and work out their own difficulties without jumping to conclusions that they are intentionally being cruel just because something doesn't go perfectly in our interaction.
This is a major reason why I usually prefer people to say that they don't know how to answer my questions (I can question obsessively when upset) or to say they're too confused to continue the conversation. I can understand that sometimes people might not understand because their brain doesn't work as mine. A neutral statement like the one I just described won't upset me as much as many other options and it will get me to back off as I know continued pressure will just confuse them further. Usually after the fight or confused conversation is over I feel guilty for saying negative things when the other person was probably trying hard to get along with me or even help me.
