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Despite my anxiety, which is usually present when I wake up (sometimes from bad dreams), I have a lot to be grateful for right now. I seem to be adapting to some changing in my lifestyle and friends. I have Michael, who tolerates all the emotional problems I have and my other kind of difficulties; I am growing closer to Amber again; I talk to Izzy on a regular basis, who has become a great friend; I have penpals I like and whom I enjoy writing. Many people on LiveJournal are kind to me and I enjoy interacting with them. I've seen less of April lately, but I know it's not because she's mad at me; it's just that she's depressed. Hopefully she'll feel better soon and we can spend some time together like we used to do. And Phil (her husband), too, of course! I get along with my mother and she helps me a lot and I have fun with her and her boyfriend. I've had someone (Anna) show interest in my paintings, which usually sit around my house just existing. And she and I textmessage now (I love textmessaging). Renee sent me a letter and drawing and now I have another activity I can do (making her a drawing). I'm starting to write more in my private journal, I'm writing more short stories, and I'm slowly doing more art again. I will start a painting soon, when I figure out subject matter. It may be a fantastical painting of a face again. I like those...
I have been hurt and betrayed by people in the past, but it has not caused me to lose my ability to trust or to love. I love so many people. And even though I get really touchy and reactive over a few subjects, my angry feelings wear off eventually. I only ever need to take Klonopin once a day, which is fortunate. It just seems to flip a switch in my mind and I become more positive and proactive.
I have been hurt and betrayed by people in the past, but it has not caused me to lose my ability to trust or to love. I love so many people. And even though I get really touchy and reactive over a few subjects, my angry feelings wear off eventually. I only ever need to take Klonopin once a day, which is fortunate. It just seems to flip a switch in my mind and I become more positive and proactive.
