Intensity

[unico_love]

I have always been an intense person. I'm very sensitive and emotional, and I hyperfocus on things. I'm very interested in people and they tie into my perseverations. Because I can get obsessive, that increases my intensity. Sometimes I just go on and on about a topic, sometimes in very emotional ways. I just can't shift my mind. Sometimes my perfectionism takes over and I try to fix everything even when it's not possible. I can be really nice or really mean, though I want to get the "really mean" part under control and handle situations calmly and rationally. Sometimes the intensity is good for my creativity, but sometimes it's a distraction (due to the obsession, etc.) I don't know if I can make myself less intense (or if I want to be -- but getting rid of the crippling depressions would be nice). However, I can work on treating people better and thinking before reacting. I can write things out and then decide how much of my "intensity" to share. I'm supposedly a very complex thinker and feel emotions much more strongly than is normal, according to my regular psychologist. It's difficult to argue logically with me, but it's also very difficult to alter my emotions. I am very stubborn in my thoughts and feelings. I hope to improve the way I relate to others and to remain more psychologically stable, though I will probably always be intense. I know I'm not for everyone... But some people seem to tolerate it.