Dance of Deception

[unico_love]

I just finished reading Dance of Deception by Harriet Lerner. It taught me a lot about the difference between honesty and truth-telling. I am usually bluntly honest but there are certain instances (such as trying to hide family secrets) when I did lie. I can be too tough on people for lying, though I do agree with the book that sometimes when people lie it's not to protect you, but because they don't feel like dealing with your pain. Certain information handled bluntly can really hurt other people unnecessarily and make them defensive instead of more likely to understand your perspective. A slower process of truth-telling tends to be more helpful than sudden bursts of difficult honesty.