The Goddess Artemis and Childlike Innocence and Strength

[unico_love]

I have always loved mythology, and I always had a favoritism toward the Greek goddess Artemis (she has older origins, but I'm going to keep things simple and mainly refer to the well-known modern interpretation of the Classical/Hellenic goddess form). I've always liked the myths featuring Artemis, and even when I didn't "like" Artemis for some of her harsh actions, I liked the overall personality she was portrayed as possessing. Her identification with the moon, deer (and nature/animals in general), nymphs, youthful innocence, virginity, strength, and independence all greatly appealed to me. In some ways she was my ideal. For my "favorite things" or intense interests, I tend to go over the same things again and again mentally, and my interest in Artemis was no different. I would imagine costumes she would wear, and how I could dress up like her, and I made up various scenarios/myth-like tales of my own involving her. She still remains one of my favorite goddesses. In my college Classical Mythology class the instructor pointed out that the virgin goddess Athena came across as more adult, whereas Artemis seemed more childlike in her personality and activities. Artemis was the playful one. I agreed with her analysis.:-)

In middle school I remember overhearing conversations between girls discussing which Greek goddess was their favorite/which they would want to be. Some of the really scholarly girls would say Athena, but most said Aphrodite. And I would just think, "Who would want to be Aphrodite when they could be Artemis?? Why be in love or make people fall in love when you could go on adventures with nymphs and wild animals?? Where is the fun in that!" And Athena was just too cold for me.

When I was about 18 years old a series of life-changing events occurred in my life (some normal, some less normal). I became what some thought in retrospect could be hypomanic, but I was very productive and very happy. I felt very strong and felt like I could do almost anything if I had the right attitude and tried hard enough. Nothing really scared me. I was a very independent person, but unlike in high school, I had a bunch of new opportunities to live life as I wanted. That happened after my father died and I went off to college. I still focused on doing very well in school, but I really enjoyed the thrill of it and found learning and reading exciting (as I still do). I didn't feel competitive with others, but I competed with myself. I felt everything was a game and I could have fun and do wonderfully with the right problem-solving. It's true I did intend to die a virgin during this time period and had no interest in dating and could not understand other people's extreme emotional investment (or physical investment) in these types of activities. In retrospect I regret some of my carefree attitude because I know I was callous in certain ways, but fortunately I don't think I hurt anyone too badly with my insensitivity. I'm sure I have harmed people much more since my breakdown, in a variety of ways, and my eventual turn to meekness didn't stop me from being callous at times.

Everything in the world felt enchanted and magical and I felt so strong. I was successful in a number of ways then. I've learned knew things about myself and gone through a bunch of intense experiences since then. I'm the same person, but changes in certain circumstances have necessitated that I also make changes in some of my approaches, attitudes, and goals. However, a lot of my basic goals from that time period still stand. And when I allow myself to simply be myself and not worry about right and wrong so much, I tend to make better choices. I tend to be more like that person I was when I was 18 and so happy and strong. There is no reason childlike innocence and freethinking have to be at odds with responsibility and self-reliance. I loved people so much then and felt so intensely interested in people, even though my relationships with others were a bit unique. I have to remember that I can still be that way essentially, the changes in my life and my desires are not at odds with those qualities I once demonstrated and want to thoroughly demonstrate again. Obviously I still had a lot of personal awareness to gain if I had the kind of breakdown I had, it's just the kinds of things that cause me to break often aren't the same things that would cause a breakdown for other people. So hopefully the experience I have gained and the difficult things I have gone through will just make me more careful and practical. Even if it's still a struggle everyday, maybe slowly I can build up purity and childlike innocence and independent strength to greater levels than even that paradisaical time in life. It's a matter of channeling all these qualities I possess and channeling my potential for the qualities I love, and using them to balance myself better and reach my goals, instead of sinking into obsessive rigid expectations of myself.

That all reminds me of what a friend has been teaching me about Aristotle's position in Virtue Ethics:-) I won't expand on that here, but that is another piece of the puzzle I am keeping in mind, that just ties together everything I am thinking about right now regarding archetypes, Artemis, personality, and goals.