The Autistic Quotient Test

Last night I retook the AQ (Autistic Quotient) test that has been going around on Facebook, but it was actually formed by Simon Baron-Cohen to try and detect autism. I've heard of people actually being given this evaluation when getting diagnosed with autism/Asperger's Syndrome, though I myself was never given it. I used to score like 46 on it, but this time only scored 42 on it (out of 50, with 15 being average for a non-autistic female and 17 being average for a non-autistic male). Michael helped me figure out how to answer the questions. I try to be self-aware, but sometimes I'm not aware of how strong certain traits come across. For one thing, I did have to answer this time that I'm more interested in people than things. As far back as I can remember I have gotten super attached to people and obsessed with them in a way that I think other autistics get with their special interests. When my father was alive and at his peak craziness (when I was 12-17 -- he died before I turned 18) I couldn't spend much time with people and couldn't afford close friends, so then I was mostly more interested in things than people. The main interest was Sailor Moon. I think being forbidden to be around people made me get super interested in them and wanting friends after my father died. So I do think I'm more interested in people than things now, in many ways, but it's not in the casual wanting to party or being crazy about the opposite sex or anything like that. I really analyze relationships and interactions and it's really rather neurotic.

Also Michael pointed out how I'm the opposite of spontaneous and can't handle change. Even going to a nearby store on a trip out without previous plans to go there makes me get very upset and anxious. Any change in route or routine tends to upset me. I like planning out my social activities and I don't like surprises in traveling or social situations. Surprises like I have more money than I thought I did or getting a more positive response to something than I anticipated are welcome, though:) Now Michael, Dan, and I are going to go out for awhile, but I took Ritalin which should help me deal with the unexpected and control my anxiety. I will bring a book to read, as I always do.

My Frustrating Day Stranded at a Fast Food Take Out Place

It was ironic I wrote before I left about how much I hated changes in plans or travel. I prepared myself to go to a bunch of unfamiliar suburbs so Dan and Michael could go looking for the toys they collect. I went with because I wanted to eat at Rally's/Checkers, which I used to get all the time when we visited my grandmother in Florida. There are no locations anywhere near where I live. It's about 45 minutes from where Michael lives and Michael lives 45 minutes from me. I did pretty well traveling and going to the stores and then looked forward to the food. I really liked the food. There is no inside part to Rally's -- just a drive thru and pick up window and a parking lot. We parked while we ate. Then the car wouldn't start. No one would help us. Eventually someone who worked in the fast food place agreed to help jump start the car. It was taking too long, so they left. Michael called his father to come down and help. He arrived an hour later. Then we spent a long time trying to jump the car again. Finally, finally the car started and didn't die! I had taken 2 Klonopins during this time and was really depressed and getting ritualistic and superstitious. I just had to get out of there. I was in a totally unfamiliar place, stranded. I tried to read, but it was difficult to focus. I also worried I would have to use the bathroom and there was no bathroom there. We just got back home. It's true I could have reacted a lot worse than I did and had some kind of meltdown, but I didn't. Though I also didn't remain very optimistic or pleasant. I'm going to bed soon.

5 Gratitudes

1. Reading more of The Habitation of the Blessed while on our roadtrip (with Michael and Dan)
2. Getting food from Rally's/Checkers (It was really good! I missed it!)
3. Michael's father coming and rescuing us from the parking lot of Rally's
4. Michael being patient with my social faux pas and stress due to autism stuff
5. Watching Disney's cartoon The Legend of Sleepy Hollow on youtube