A Bit of Anxiety, but not Depression

My depression is still mostly gone and not reappearing. I feel that my thinking is more clear. However, I still sometimes get anxiety -- usually not about anything in particular; I just feel the pressure of anxiety and it makes me act a little uptight. I'm sometimes taking Klonopin, but not daily. It helped a lot last night. I'm going to try and have fun today. I'm reading a book I like, Michael and I may go bike riding, we borrowed the new Evangelion movie from Michael's friend, Glee is on tonight... Michael and I have been getting along very well. Amber is paying me more attention. I got a couple emails from friends when I got up and checked my email. I want to write more emails to people, but it's hard to find the time (especially to write long ones) when typing bothers Michael's OCD. I have to remind him to call the OCD therapist and leave a message with them again. We're trying to find one that will accept his insurance or Medicaid (or work on a sliding scale). I think I'm doing a pretty good job right now of controlling my obsessions. I'm trying to just distract myself with good things or telling myself logical, practical things to counter my overreactions and hypersensitivity.

Feeling Pretty Good, Overall

The combination of my increase of Zyprexa and my new obsession on positive psychology has led me to be happier and more stable. I still get anxiety problems sometimes, but they are less focused on certain problems. It's getting easier for me to "let go" of problems or let unpleasant thoughts run their course and then feel back to normal. However, I still get this free-floating anxiety where I'm not thinking of anything in particular. Reading and other distraction activities sometimes help. The idea that I can control my own happiness levels and that I shouldn't let other people dictate my emotions really inspired me. I can be controlling in some ways, so I definitely want to feel control over myself and my life. I'm trying to look for the good in people even if they are unpleasant or upset me. I'm trying to be respectful and to stay with positive emotions even if people around me become mean or negative, but that's a little harder to do. I over involve myself emotionally with people. I don't think it's bad to care about people a lot, but I also should just let them be who they are and deal with their own problems without letting it affect me. Sometimes I get frustrated with people too easily... Or I take things too personally... Learning to take people problems less personally is important.

5 Gratitudes

1. My morning anxiety going away quickly on its own
2. Watching a new episode of Glee
3. Watching more Tsubasa
4. Getting more comfortable wearing contacts again
5. Finished reading Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson