I was reading more recently about how it's very common for people to think of their lives in the form of a narrative stories. I think in stories, partly, so this is definitely true for me. Everything is a story to me, and I used to feel I "knew" my role. Not my role as assigned by others, and not simply my ideal self, but I had a general idea of my beliefs and what I should do, and who I was. It wasn't much of an issue for me. I felt I knew my place in my story. Certain recurring themes came up, but it wasn't restrictive. In fact, it made me feel fulfilled and expansive. I don't know my role anymore. It's like one thread started unraveling, and the whole tapestry followed. I fell into a gaping black hole. I like when I get reminiscent reminders that there is some positive role I could play in the world, that my identity from before hasn't completely disappeared. I suppose I will always be changed to some extent, but maybe in some way those changes could be more of an expansion on my former self than destroying and replacing my former self. Simply a form of growth instead of feeling like "a different person." I didn't usually think overly highly of myself, but I didn't mind who I was in a lot of ways. Probably that's why I often just wish for a return to "how things used to be." Maybe it would help if I wrote stories around what I want my life to be, what I want to make of my life. What I want my personal mythology to develop into, so everything can be salvaged in some sense.

This was inspired by a post by matadin but I only gave a brief answer in his journal, but because I am so interested in mythology and archetypes I thought I would write a longer post on myself, and what kind of archetypes and mythological beings I relate to.

( More on Archetypes )