What Are Values, A Relatively "Healthy" Enneagram 4, Questions About Me

[unico_love]

This is my response from personality cafe:

What is value?
Value, to me, is something desirable that, when possessed, makes someone happy, content, enthused, feeling good in some way, whether in an immediate sense or with long-reaching consequences that are seen as positive and desirable. I "value" honesty even though it is not always pleasant and does not always bring me happiness, but it keeps my understanding of the world in-line and it most likely will do me good in the long-run.

What is valuable?
Values are up to the individual and can vary immensely, though healthy people generally have a lot of values in common, such as happiness, helping others, loyalty, truth, kindness, etc. By our own personalities and experiences and desires, our values can be quite varied.

What is the opposite of value?
To me the opposite of value wouldn't simply be nothingness and indifference to something, but actively detesting something, finding it not just worthless, but harmful and unattractive.

Can it be said that one thing that creates value is more or less valuable that another thing that creates value?
I would say so. Some values are stronger and more deeply ingrained than others. Some things are desired more than others. Some things are more important to a person than other things. For example, I value both love and being on-time, but I value love a whole lot more.



I have mental illnesses (including bipolar, PTSD, and severe anxiety) and I'm very familiar with being an unhealthy, suicidal 4. But now that my medications are helping and I'm doing positive things in my life (eating, drinking water, taking supplements, taking my psych meds, doing yoga, meditating, working on my spirituality, doing activities I enjoy, joining a UU church and being more sociable, etc.) my mood has become more stable and I have more hope and stability. Someone on the forum said there were no healthy 4's, but I don't know how serious they were. I don't see why there wouldn't be healthy and unhealthy versions of each enneagram types. No type is better or worse than another.

I'm technically a 4w3 and while I've displayed a lot of the negative qualities in the past, a lot of the positive qualities and neutral qualities I can associate with currently.

-I try to be as self-aware as possible, including of my shadow
-I consider my life as a story/myth and imagine it connected with archetypes and motifs from fairy tales
-I am unique and I enjoy that, but I don't feel the need to shove it down anyone's throat
-I can be withdrawn, but I also enjoy social interaction
-I'm very creative and artistic (writing and visual arts)
-I express my negative emotions through my art and through talking to close friends
-I cling to emotional states that seem important to me and beautiful in the story they tell (however, I cling more to positive emotional states now than negative)
-I can be lonely at times, but this is often easily alleviated by contact with people I love
-I am very compassionate
-I have developed a lot of 1 traits in my regaining of mental health (having strong moral values and ideals, my perfectionism is always present, I work hard to make the world a better place in the little things I do -- and the volunteering I do when in a good mental state)
-I act less like an unhealthy 2 (less needy and clingy, not trying to manipulate people by giving/forming codependencies)
-I do still fear abandonment, but I do not jump to conclusions that I'm being abandoned
-I'm empathetic and sympathetic
-I can be a good listener, without trying to change people or tell them what to do (just like I want from people in return)
-I've become pretty good at explaining my feeling states and other impressions and thoughts to people, even if it still sounds "weird" or very sensitive
-I'm a highly sensitive person
-I love symbols, archetypes, and complicated information for me to sort through, especially if it relates back to myself in some way/I can relate
-I am self-referential, but I don't only speak about myself or think about myself
-I'm becoming more grounded and aware of my place on earth and how, even though I am important and special to myself, in many ways I am just an ordinary speck on a planet
-I see the divine and beauty in little things
-I try to work hard and accomplish things
-I'm always trying to improve myself and my skills
-I do not feel the need to be flashy, but I try to express myself in my clothing, word choices, hobbies, goals, etc.
-I have a lot less self-pity than I used to have, and less self-hatred too
-I relate to characters like The Lady of Shallot and Ophelia, but I feel like I've risen beyond those dire circumstances now -- I do still relate to them, though




1) What do you consider your best traits?

I'm loving, honest, compassionate, love animals, like people easily, I'm very creative and imaginative, I meet deadlines, I do what I say I will do, I'm good at understanding complex abstract concepts.

2) What do you consider your worst traits?

Worrying, lashing out at people, taking things personally, feeling bad about myself easily, not being very self-sufficient.

3) How do you observe people?

Watching them very closely and trying to figure out their emotional state, listening carefully to how they talk and what they say, and using my Ni to collect information on them. I try to figure out how to be in harmony with the people around me and find out what might make them happy, using me Fe.

4) How do your closest friends see you?

I don't know, as I haven't really asked. I think they see me as kind and likable, but sometimes rigid.

5) What do you wish people understand most about you?

That I try hard to be productive and useful, but it's very difficult for me to do a lot of "normal" tasks due to my disabilities.

6) If you get to a -place- where you have reached at least half of your full potential, what kind of person do you think you'll become? What can you achieve?

I would be a very kind and nonjudgmental person who is at peace with the world and works hard to help others.

7) What makes you most heated in arguments?

Dishonesty, arrogance, or selfishness.

8) If you could change one part of how you are in relationships, what would it be?

To have healthy boundaries and be a good judge of whether the person is being abusive or unfair or whether they are right and I should comply/understand their side of things. To no longer have codependency issues.


9) What do you desire most in your life?

To be happy and to become a better person filled with love.