Aww.
My apologies if this is inevitably no comfort at all, but it was the other way around for me. I was most alienated from my role in my youngest years, because everyone underestimates a little kid that wants to "beat" those at least a decade her senior. (Although, I suppose that caused me to be even more driven and thus strengthened my knowing my role.)

Bleh. Shoot me, I'm no help.