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Lately I've been listening to the musician Poe a lot. She has an album, Haunted, that ties into her brother's book, House of Leaves. I really loved that book (and the footnotes/interweaving reflective stories). The album Haunted also ties into her feelings about her father's death (there are clippings of her father's lectures played in the background sometimes during the songs). I also relate to that aspect, since I have mixed feelings and thoughts around my own father's death, over 7 years ago. I've been reading over her lyrics at times, and play Poe's music in the background while I do other things more actively. The general feel of the album fits my mood a lot lately.
The book House of Leaves, and to an extent the album Haunted remind me of Alice in Wonderland. Falling into the house in House of Leaves is like falling down the rabbit hole, passing through a liminal state into an entirely new world and manner of existence. Reality transforms, and the "normal" people making their way to this other world don't know how to interpret this other realm in which they become trapped. This reminds me of how people from time to time fall into mental states unusual for themselves, sometimes without even being aware of it at first, and usually unaware of what exactly is happening and why. We fall into strange places mentally or physically and our reality is turned upside down. We don't know what anything means anymore or what our goals are. Our relationships are shaken, both to other human beings/creatures and to the basic architecture of the physical "objective" world. Our minds can be our own worlds and people around us might not realize we've fallen into another world. We don't know how to leave that strange world. In ways, House of Leaves reminds me of a hollow and emptied adult Wonderland. Things just don't "measure up" literally.
I still feel I'm in that strange otherworld, through dissociation, overload, PTSD, or some other factor. Do I wish I could rewind time and stop myself from falling down that passageway to another place? Or do I just wish to find my way out and carry all that I've gathered (good and bad) with me? I always change my mind on that. I know I don't want to take everything back, but I also can't treat reality as my own personal fantasy. Things happened as they did because everyone was living out their own self in this shared reality. Sometimes that will be to my personal disadvantage.
Lately I've really liked listening to Poe's song Wild and relate to it ("I go wild that it doesn't make sense"). I like all the songs on the album, though (two other favorites being Spanish Doll and Amazed).
The book House of Leaves, and to an extent the album Haunted remind me of Alice in Wonderland. Falling into the house in House of Leaves is like falling down the rabbit hole, passing through a liminal state into an entirely new world and manner of existence. Reality transforms, and the "normal" people making their way to this other world don't know how to interpret this other realm in which they become trapped. This reminds me of how people from time to time fall into mental states unusual for themselves, sometimes without even being aware of it at first, and usually unaware of what exactly is happening and why. We fall into strange places mentally or physically and our reality is turned upside down. We don't know what anything means anymore or what our goals are. Our relationships are shaken, both to other human beings/creatures and to the basic architecture of the physical "objective" world. Our minds can be our own worlds and people around us might not realize we've fallen into another world. We don't know how to leave that strange world. In ways, House of Leaves reminds me of a hollow and emptied adult Wonderland. Things just don't "measure up" literally.
I still feel I'm in that strange otherworld, through dissociation, overload, PTSD, or some other factor. Do I wish I could rewind time and stop myself from falling down that passageway to another place? Or do I just wish to find my way out and carry all that I've gathered (good and bad) with me? I always change my mind on that. I know I don't want to take everything back, but I also can't treat reality as my own personal fantasy. Things happened as they did because everyone was living out their own self in this shared reality. Sometimes that will be to my personal disadvantage.
Lately I've really liked listening to Poe's song Wild and relate to it ("I go wild that it doesn't make sense"). I like all the songs on the album, though (two other favorites being Spanish Doll and Amazed).
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Date: 2008-04-06 06:33 pm (UTC)From:no subject
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