I dreamed about the television series Lost last night. A lot of the characters were different, but Jack was the same. Jack was growing more and more catatonic and unstable as more characters died off. There were a lot of supernatural and ghostly things happening and we were in what looked like a school. We would all hold hands in a circle and descend/ascend through water and there would be earthquakes. I kept trying to reassure Jack to get him to help us in our plans to try and escape or conquer the dark forces or whatever it was. When we were all holding hands this teenage girl got a metal fist shoved up her, coming out through her mouth and neck with blood and guts flying everywhere. It was an intense and scary dream.
Sep. 5th, 2009
I have just started working on some anger workbooks. Unfortunately I take after my father in that I'm very emotional and sometimes very angry. Sometimes I try to hide the degree of my anger. I just get rageful, sometimes over small things. I have to learn to accept that the world and human beings (including me) are imperfect. There will always be some problems and you just have to learn how to deal with them. I'm rarely passive aggressive -- mostly just openly aggressive. Even when I try to just be assertive I come across quite blunt. I feel out of control of my life a lot of the time, which puts me very on-edge and makes me more reactive. If I can learn to stay calm and deal with my anger assertively my relationships would improve and I would accomplish more. Things would get done in a positive way. I also need to learn how to let time pass before reacting and have this time alone calm me down instead of making me more angry -- usually time apart just makes me angrier and more obsessive. I imagine my anger problems are closely related to my obsessive problems. I do hate feeling so wrathful at times. I have to learn to "give up" on people like I did with my brother (I'm not talking about anyone on my friendslist). My anger also stems from my extreme sensitivity and insecurity. I have to get over that:-/