unico_love: (childlike empress)
Day 21: What are some positive mottos or mantras you have about life or the self? (If you don't have any yet, tumblr is full of wonderful inspirational quotes!) What do you appreciate about these mottos/mantras? How do they help you?

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all."
— Emily Dickinson

I appreciate the value and beauty of hope and never want to lose hope.

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain."

— Emily Dickinson

Life is very complex, but ultimately, if I've helped someone or made them feel better, my life was worth living.

30 Day Self-Esteem Meme )
unico_love: (Cat mask)
"The analysand has not spoken of resistances because that might lead to difficulties, and anyway the analyst has "already been forgiven." That is arrogance! It would be much simpler to say, "I blame you for this and that; what have you to say about it?" That would be human, modest, and normally related. But instead, negative reactions hide under the cloak of "forgiveness" and a virtuous and superior attitude and the knowledge that "The analyst is a human being and has negative sides." That is the poison of a wrong Christian attitude. I have often met with this and resent this forgiveness and sweetness of people and would prefer that they were more naturally related and would say straight out what they thought so that one could get a human understanding. This shadow of the Christian attitude is symbolized by the stag hung up in the tree in the medieval legends. If someone just pardons a fellow human being, then nothing happens; the negative assumptions remain for the next ten years!" (pg. 47, von Franz, Shadow and Evil in Fairy Tales).

This makes a lot of sense to me. I hate the idea of being angry or mean, so I never know whether to repress my feelings or let them out. And when I do let them out it's usually a verbal lashing. What I would like to do is what's said here -- Being clear and to the point that I am bothered. Sometimes I do manage doing that, but the situation remains unresolved. Sometimes the main point gets pushed aside. Sometimes I become defensive and sometimes I give in too easily -- as I do feel guilty easily. I feel so much pressure to forgive, but sometimes forgiveness needs time and more experience.
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Habits 5 and 6 of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People )
unico_love: (Hotaru with umbrella)
Habits 3 and 4 from  )
unico_love: (sailor moon beauty)
Quotes and Personal Responses )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
For quite awhile now I've assumed I was a type 1w9 for my gut type, but now I'm not so sure. I'm a 4w3 and integrate to 1 when I'm healthy. I tend to have very strict morals and ethics for myself, care about the ethical behavior of others, I'm a perfectionist a lot of the time, etc.

However, in reading "The Positive Enneagram" I came across a description of 9's that sounds very much like me:

"...It's often through storytelling that 9's find it possible to express who they are. Point 9 on the enneagram is a place of creative possibility, which is probably why 9's usually like stories better than factual accounts. Facts describe the world as it is, stories describe the world of imagination.

The stories that 9's tell don't seem to be so much deliberately composed as channeled from some invisible part of themselves. These stories are often fantasies or fairy tales and are archetypal in nature." pg. 53

Fairy tales and archetypes are a huge obsession of mine and I get lost in fantasies easily. However, I don't usually avoid reality (I get too anxious for that) and while I hate conflict, I will sometimes get involved in it -- it just makes me super upset and gives me a stomachache.

I know I do not have an 8 wing if I am a 9 because 8 is the type I have least in common with. Maybe my love of fantasy is just because I'm a core 4?
unico_love: (childlike empress)
"Unfortunately, because people on the spectrum experience and express empathy differently than neurotypical people, they have traditionally been viewed as lacking empathy and feelings for others. Recent research has not supported this idea, however. Researchers have divided empathy into cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. Cognitive empathy happens when you think about another person's feelings without necessarily feeling anything yourself. "The relatives of the deceased are sad," but you don't necessarily feel sad yourself. Through a purely intellectual exercise you have arrived at a correct answer. Emotional empathy happens when you not only correctly identify the other person's feeling but also feel some of the same emotion yourself. In the funeral example, you would be experiencing emotional empathy if you said to yourself, "I feel sad when I think about how sad these people are." Your sadness is coming not from the fact that you lost someone (you did not know the deceased) but from your empathy for the people who did lose someone.

Interestingly, some recent research has revealed that on tests of cognitive empathy people with ASDs tend to score lower (show less cognitive empathy) than neurotypicals. However, on tests of emotional empathy, people with ASDs scored higher, indicating that people on the spectrum actually feel more intense emotion in the face of the troubles or distress of another person(s). Some people on the spectrum report, in fact, that they get very anxious when someone else is in distress because they believe it is their responsibility to alleviate the other person's pain by fixing the problem. The pressure they put on themselves can get overwhelming if they don't know what to do to help."
-pg. 69, Living Well on the Spectrum, by Valerie Gaus

This is so true for me! I used to think I couldn't be autistic because I always felt so much emotional empathy. I do lack cognitive empathy often, though. Just seeing someone upset upsets me. And I always feel like I have to fix other people's problems so they can be happy. I don't doubt some autistics have trouble with both types of empathy (cognitive and emotional), but I think I've met more with extreme emotional empathy than lack of it.
unico_love: (Strange Beauty)
“It’s not that I literally think I’m a faerie. It’s just that I feel so different from most people. And this idea of a race living underground in caverns, spending all their days dancing and playing the fiddle and eating flowers and reciting poetry and sharing their dreams, that to me sounds much more real than the way people live in this world, hating and fighting and wanting and hurting.” - Francesca Lia Block
unico_love: (childlike empress)
"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain."
— Emily Dickinson

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

30 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Default)
233: what is the most quotable movie.. list a few of your favorite quotes?

American Psycho:
Patrick Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
David Van Patten: Ed Gein? The maitre 'd at Canal Bar?
Patrick Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s.
Craig McDermott: So what did he say?
Patrick Bateman: "When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right."
David Van Patten: And what did the other part think?
Patrick Bateman: "What her head would look like on a stick... "
[laughs]

David Van Patten: [re: business card] Good coloring.
Patrick Bateman: That's 'Bone'.

I love the business card scene:-)

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
"Every bad experience, painful relationship, and compromise you’ve ever made in good conscience will somehow transform into a beautiful inner reservoir of spiritual gifts and blessings."
-Tiny Buddha, by Andrea Johnson

I liked this quote, so I'm saving it here.
unico_love: (sailor moon beauty)
I love this quote and find it true for me:


"One is not always happy when one is good; but one is always good when one is happy."
— Oscar Wilde
unico_love: (crystal ball)
day 168: how do you feel about cyber bullying
It's terrible and is as real as any other kind of bullying. I get deeply affected by what goes on online and how people treat me there -- it's not just "fake," "walk away from the computer and the problem goes away" to me.

day 169: what is your life motto
"If I have can stop one heart from breaking I have not lived in vain."
-Emily Dickinson

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
I would rather love one person. I love very intensely and couldn't handle going through a lot of relationships/break ups. Every break up has been very hard on me and I hate losing people -- even when they are abusive. I tend to be codependent.

Also:

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~ Goethe

Just wanted to add that quote here so I have it preserved:-)

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
-"Anytime we undergo an initiation, we experience a death of our previous identity. When we come through the other side, it's as if we were a new creature, emerging gloriously from the primordial ooze that was our former life. Shaking off the muck and the fear, we turn our face to the sun and move forward boldly in our new skin. After the initiation of death, we no longer identify with the circumstances that used to seem so very important. The new self has a wisdom the old self lacked. When you are resurrected, you realize you have a sacred power to participate in making your world a paradise."
-pg. 173, Illumination: The Shaman's Way of Healing, by Alberto Villoldo
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I just took my second dose of Ritalin LA. I have a lot left for this month, so I figured it was okay. It really does help my anxiety and mood... I should be happy, though, and usually I am now. Sometimes I even think I'm happier than average. I still self-monitor a lot -- constantly looking for any sign of anxiety or depression or fear. Then if I do notice it I start panicking:-/ Just too many years of too many bad emotions... Life is better now. I have to remember that. Also my pap smear test results came back normal so not another one of those horrible exams for two years! Yay!

I think I'm kind of the opposite of a nihilist. I think there is meaning in everything. When people ask questions like "What is the meaning of life?" I get very confused. It's not like I know a deeper truth than them -- I don't know an objective "meaning of life" on this earthly existence that stands true for everyone. I do think all of our existences have some kind of deeper purpose, but I don't know what it is, and I don't think one has to know that to have meaning and purpose in their life. Perhaps like in existentialism we have to create meaning in our lives. I would still count that as important. I do not just think we're useless, tiny dots existing for a moment in history, of no real value. I believe all things in the universe are sacred and divine. There's nothing wrong with being a little focused on yourself and understanding yourself and your life -- we're all sacred and valuable! Ants are just as important as humans who are just as important as any higher-up spirits or organisms that may exist/will exist. I am more hedonistic than I used to be -- I think we should all enjoy life to the fullest. Life is meant to be enjoyed and cherished. For me the ultimate meaning of life is to experience love and to love as much as possible. That is my main goal, as well as somehow making the world a better place in some small way. As Emily Dickinson said, "If I can save one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." My views on ethics and spirituality are constantly evolving, but the core of who I am remains the same and probably so will my belief that love is of utmost value.

I have met so many creatures (including humans) that are so inspiring and great in some way or another -- I am learning so much. I am inspired always. Hopefully my self-criticism will die away and I will focus only on how I can improve instead of thinking of the ways in which I fail compared to other people. I've had great opportunities in life, too, and I have many wonderful people to turn to. Some of my past is hard to overcome, but I will keep trying.
unico_love: (Cat mask)
"As long as our own serenity, safety, and security are based on someone's fidelity to us, we remain in that person's power."
-Daring to Trust, pg. 65
unico_love: (Cat mask)
"People talk sometimes of a bestial cruelty, but that's a great injustice and insult to the beasts; a beast can never be so cruel as a man, so artistically cruel. The tiger only tears and gnaws, that's all he can do. He would never think of nailing people by the ears, even if he were able to do it."

"There is only one salvation for you: take yourself up, and make yourself responsible for all the sins of men. For indeed it is so, my friend, and the moment you make yourself sincerely responsible for everything and everyone, you will see at once that it is really so, that it is you who are guilty on behalf of all and for all. Whereas by shifting your own laziness and powerlessness onto others, you will end by sharing in Satan's pride and murmuring against God."
- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov (one of my favorite books ever!)

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
"Shamans believe that, because people are unaware that their hostile energies can penetrate others, they are unconsciously causing damage to their fellow human beings much of the time."
-pg 116, The Way of the Shaman

I believe this.

Here's one last quote from today that I really liked:

"Showing up for your life means actively participating in our own life rather than hiding and going through the motions."
-The Daily Om

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August 2013

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