unico_love: (Default)
Social (23)
(4)1) Generally, I positively associate with the idea of being a part of something larger than myself. Though I may find it either overwhelming, because of my astute awareness of what lies beyond my own interests, or inspiring.
(3)2) I am very aware of the impact my decision will have on others and can be quite attuned to their reactions and needs. I read people well.
(3)3) Being recognized or valued by my peers or community, for my contributions, is important to me.
(3)4) I tend to have strong opinions on social change and/or social constructs and trends.
(1)5) I am aware of not only my own relationships, but also power structures and the nature of bonds between other people. I have a deep understanding of interconnectedness between groups and people who comprise them. In other words, I am good at perceiving the many facets of how a group works within its context and outside of it. I easily pick up on how I fit into the social hierarchy, whether or not I approve of it.
(1)6) I am socially aware, but I can also be reserved and socially distant.
(1)7) If I gravitate towards group (s)/institution (s)/gathering(s)of my choosing, I can be quite involved with championing the values and goals of this grouping.
(1)8) I tend to keep track of current events, even when not required to for my career performance.
(2)9) At my worst I am either strongly conformist or excessively anti-society/counter culture. At my best, my relationships with others are ones of healthy interdependence, and I may be inclined to strong individual leadership or display deep commitment in establishing teamwork and collaboration.
(4)10) "no man is an island." Everything is part of an interconnected web, like it or not.

Self Preservation (39)
(5)1) I am acutely aware of my physical safety (though sometimes I will choose to do something dangerous anyway)
(4)2) when I go to a party, I immediately notice the temperature, the smells and where the food is
(3)3) I am very health conscious
(5)4) financial/career, physical and/or romantic security are very important to me
(3)5) if I have an injury or a health related problem, I typically notice quickly
(3)6) I tend to save a decent amount of my money (explained below)
(5)7) predictability is important to me. the sooner I can know about things in advance, the better.
(5)8) when I'm under stress, things like health, finances, hygiene or other things that I normally stay on top of start to slip, sometimes severely.
(2)9) I'm acutely aware of cause and effect, particularly when the potential consequences are dire. if my friends listened to me more, they'd end up making a lot less stupid mistakes
(5)10) physical comfort is important to me. I can get distracted by things like uncomfortable seats, high humidity or bodily pain when I'm trying to enjoy time with my friends

Sexual (37)
(2)1) I have an addictive personality
(2)2) "if it's not worth doing in excess, it's not worth doing at all"
(2)3) people generally think I'm "too much". in lots of situations, I feel like it's expected of me to tone myself down considerably (which I will either refuse to do or do so begrudgingly)
(5)4) my energy is either "on" or "off". when I'm in the presence of someone who I vibe with my mind does an internal "YES! FINALLY!" and I try to start a conversation with that person
(5)5) I can be obsessive with my love interests. I am either clingy or have to try very hard not to be
(4)6) I feel like a part of me is missing and am looking for someone to complete me. at times, this creates a raw sort of longing that can lead to emotional volatility
(5)7) I have strong impulses (particularly with regards to relationships). I frequently wish I didn't have to be so damn careful
(4)8) if I'm not in a relationship, I feel old. I don't know how it's possible for people to be happy without passionate intimacy, because being without it makes me feel dead
(5)9) I only feel alive when indulging my passions. sometimes this causes me to neglect other areas of my life
(3)10) people either love me or hate me, but either way, my personality grabs attention, whether I want it to or not
unico_love: (Default)
Social (3)
1) Generally, I positively associate with the idea of being a part of something larger than myself. Though I may find it either overwhelming, because of my astute awareness of what lies beyond my own interests, or inspiring.
2) I am very aware of the impact my decision will have on others and can be quite attuned to their reactions and needs. I read people well.
3) Being recognized or valued by my peers or community, for my contributions, is important to me.

4) I tend to have strong opinions on social change and/or social constructs and trends.
5) I am aware of not only my own relationships, but also power structures and the nature of bonds between other people. I have a deep understanding of interconnectedness between groups and people who comprise them. In other words, I am good at perceiving the many facets of how a group works within its context and outside of it. I easily pick up on how I fit into the social hierarchy, whether or not I approve of it.
6) I am socially aware, but I can also be reserved and socially distant.
7) If I gravitate towards group (s)/institution (s)/gathering(s)of my choosing, I can be quite involved with championing the values and goals of this grouping.
8) I tend to keep track of current events, even when not required to for my career performance.
9) At my worst I am either strongly conformist or excessively anti-society/counter culture. At my best, my relationships with others are ones of healthy interdependence, and I may be inclined to strong individual leadership or display deep commitment in establishing teamwork and collaboration.
10) "no man is an island." Everything is part of an interconnected web, like it or not.

Self Preservation (9)
1) I am acutely aware of my physical safety (though sometimes I will choose to do something dangerous anyway)
2) when I go to a party, I immediately notice the temperature, the smells and where the food is
3) I am very health conscious
4) financial/career, physical and/or romantic security are very important to me
5) if I have an injury or a health related problem, I typically notice quickly
6) I tend to save a decent amount of my money (explained below)
7) predictability is important to me. the sooner I can know about things in advance, the better.
8) when I'm under stress, things like health, finances, hygiene or other things that I normally stay on top of start to slip, sometimes severely.

9) I'm acutely aware of cause and effect, particularly when the potential consequences are dire. if my friends listened to me more, they'd end up making a lot less stupid mistakes
10) physical comfort is important to me. I can get distracted by things like uncomfortable seats, high humidity or bodily pain when I'm trying to enjoy time with my friends

Sexual (8)
1) I have an addictive personality
2) "if it's not worth doing in excess, it's not worth doing at all"

3) people generally think I'm "too much". in lots of situations, I feel like it's expected of me to tone myself down considerably (which I will either refuse to do or do so begrudgingly)
4) my energy is either "on" or "off". when I'm in the presence of someone who I vibe with my mind does an internal "YES! FINALLY!" and I try to start a conversation with that person
5) I can be obsessive with my love interests. I am either clingy or have to try very hard not to be
6) I feel like a part of me is missing and am looking for someone to complete me. at times, this creates a raw sort of longing that can lead to emotional volatility
7) I have strong impulses (particularly with regards to relationships). I frequently wish I didn't have to be so damn careful
8) if I'm not in a relationship, I feel old. I don't know how it's possible for people to be happy without passionate intimacy, because being without it makes me feel dead
9) I only feel alive when indulging my passions. sometimes this causes me to neglect other areas of my life

10) people either love me or hate me, but either way, my personality grabs attention, whether I want it to or not
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I'm feeling depressed about my life. I've accomplished so little in the past year other than stay alive. I've had symptom after symptom pop up. Abnormal test result followed by abnormal test result with no "real" answer. Nothing that connects the dots. When I get my dizzy spells, Michael worries what they mean. My brother and mother were hoping for a tumor in the pituitary gland. Hoping for a tumor... How low do you have to sink for that? My mentality is way off. I like the internet, but don't get enjoyment the way I used to out of in-person socializing. I don't feel like sending emails, though, either. I have nothing to say. I do nothing that would interest other people. My main enjoyment comes from helping other people and giving to other people. Hence, Project Snow makes me happy. Helping a loved one less fortunate who could benefit not only financially from me, but from my knowledge of things like make up and clothing, etc.

I'm reading a book right now and it says how everything is conscious. You can incarnate as literally anything and reincarnate as anything. It's like, I've thought this since I was 11 years old. I've prayed for the souls of living and non-living things for many, many years. People need a book on it? I get people have different beliefs, but this stuff is so ingrained in my heart. I'm feeling less desire to be partnered (who knows? Maybe that's just my lack of libido). I wouldn't mind becoming a nun, but I do not agree with the Catholic church. Maybe Buddhist? I am ready to take a vow of poverty and a vow of celibacy. I no longer feel fit for this world. At times that scares me and I think I'm going to die soon, having finished with this life. I feel like I've already lived through so much and learned so much from everything.

This sickness leaves me feeling haunted. My body is disjointed, not interacting properly with the environment. It is not running well. Neither is my mind, personality, or spirit. I am full of love for everyone. That is the one thing intact. I am bursting with love. I feel quite strange.
unico_love: (Unico)
28. What is your love language?
Words of Affirmation, with all the others pretty equal and closely behind.

30 Day List Meme )
unico_love: (Delight)
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
Dealing with stressful, anxiety-provoking, scary, painful, negative, unjust, and cruel situations.

30 Day List Meme )
unico_love: Snow White (innocence unicorn)
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
A rabbit because I feel like a prey animal, I'm small and skittish and physically weak. I'm creative (a fertile imagination). I have a lot of anxiety and fear. Rabbits also just happen to be my favorite animal.

30 Day List Meme )
unico_love: (Delight)
The Big 45 Results )
unico_love: (Default)
I've been participating in a thread (and actually created it) on the instinctual variants for the enneagram. I believe I'm self-preservation, followed by sexual, followed by social. A friend brought up that I could seem self-preservation/social online, which sounds pretty right to me. I think everyone has basically agreed that I seem "social" due to my Extroverted Feeling (being an INFJ), 6w7 as my head type (a very social type), and 9w1 as my gut type (also concerned about people, though I think of it as more introverted than 6w7). Also my core type and image type is 4w3, the 3 wing being more extroverted (4 is withdrawn).
Lots of Information )
unico_love: (Cat mask)
Michael and I have some differences in how we've felt about our past in relation to other people. We are about equally extroverted -- just more extroverted in different ways. Sometimes Michael feels like he always has to have outside social contact in-person (he says this is because he didn't have it as a child/teenager). I often don't need as much contact as him. Sometimes he will be more talkative than me, but sometimes that's the other way around. I am more trusting about people and open up easier than Michael (at least, for the most part). I often talk on behalf of both of us.

Michael also has a history of deep loneliness due to lack of friends and not being able to relate to people. I intensely miss people I'm already close to, but I don't usually feel "lonely" in and of itself. In fact, I'm not really sure what it's like to feel lonely other than missing concrete people who already exist in my life. And I'm pretty good at dealing with long-distance relationships or seeing each other less than most couples. I also often lacked friends and never had a boyfriend/girlfriend until college, but that didn't bother me. I resented my father for the fact that he was so dangerous and controlling so I couldn't really have a social life, but I didn't mind being by myself with few friends. My autism also made it hard to find friends I related to closely. Still, Michael was depressed in his youth and, despite the abuse I faced, I was not. I loved immersing myself in Sailor Moon. That was good enough for me. And I don't think I'm lying to myself or anything -- I just don't tend to get lonely. I was a mostly happy child when I wasn't being abused or overloaded. Until my first depressive episode at age 19 I was probably happier than the average person (and I know I was at age 18 when I was hypomanic).
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I can't get the image to show:(



I am a Benevolent Visionary )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I was just thinking about how I communicate with people and wondering if I ever sound "fake" because I tend to like people easily. There's only one person I really dislike, and that is an ex-boyfriend's mother who just happens to be the most evil person I have ever met (and that's saying a lot). Even Him and other ex-boyfriends who mistreated me, bullies, etc. I don't dislike them. I am perplexed by them. I am angry at Him (I'm over the other ex's), confused by Him, etc. but I don't feel an actual *dislike* of Him. Maybe that's partly why it's so hard for me to get over him and just brush him off. I want to know his underlying true feelings and intentions.
unico_love: (Cat mask)
Survey for Nines )
unico_love: (Snow White)
I've gotten some feedback on personalitycafe that leads me to believe I'm a 9w1 second in my tritype instead of 1w9. It's not that I don't like 1's (my significant other is a 1w2), but I tend to idealize 9's and admire the personalities of my 9 friends. I still think I'm a core 4w3 because I relate really well to everything I read about 4. I relate much better to the 4 sp/sx description than the 9 sp/sx description. I think in my posts about my 9/1 issue I downplayed my 4-ness and might seem like a core 9. I have issues with envy, have written probably 800 poems about my lost love, despite my cheerfulness, carry melancholy with me, etc. I do hate conflict, but I will deal with it more readily than most core 9's. I also tend to daydream about relationships with people in my life and can't escape reality through my daydreams. I get anxious about reality.
unico_love: (crystal ball)
For quite awhile now I've assumed I was a type 1w9 for my gut type, but now I'm not so sure. I'm a 4w3 and integrate to 1 when I'm healthy. I tend to have very strict morals and ethics for myself, care about the ethical behavior of others, I'm a perfectionist a lot of the time, etc.

However, in reading "The Positive Enneagram" I came across a description of 9's that sounds very much like me:

"...It's often through storytelling that 9's find it possible to express who they are. Point 9 on the enneagram is a place of creative possibility, which is probably why 9's usually like stories better than factual accounts. Facts describe the world as it is, stories describe the world of imagination.

The stories that 9's tell don't seem to be so much deliberately composed as channeled from some invisible part of themselves. These stories are often fantasies or fairy tales and are archetypal in nature." pg. 53

Fairy tales and archetypes are a huge obsession of mine and I get lost in fantasies easily. However, I don't usually avoid reality (I get too anxious for that) and while I hate conflict, I will sometimes get involved in it -- it just makes me super upset and gives me a stomachache.

I know I do not have an 8 wing if I am a 9 because 8 is the type I have least in common with. Maybe my love of fantasy is just because I'm a core 4?
unico_love: (Cat mask)
Tomorrow I should be getting a new book on the enneagram. It's a complicated system to learn. I know my core type is 4w3 (my feeling type). I seek authenticity, uniqueness, artistic expression, deep emotional connection, and can be withdrawn. However, the 3 tempers my withdrawn nature and I can be very open. 3's can be competitive and ambitious and I'm definitely ambitious, but I'm only really competitive with myself. Though I do wish approval from others, so I try to impress to some extent. I do have issues with envy, which is the main vice of type 4. When I'm healthier I integrate to 1 (like 4's typically do). This means I become more perfectionistic and focused on being ethical. When I'm unhealthy I tend to disintegrate to a 2, which means I become overly concerned with other people and their opinions of me and I can become overly generous at my expense.

My gut type and second in my tritype (combination of feeling type, head type, and gut type) is 1w9. This reinforces my withdrawn nature and makes me have strong 1 qualities like the ones I just listed above. I hate conflict, like 9's tend to. I also tend to be too judgmental at times, like 1's can be prone to.

My head type is 6w7. 6w7 and 4w3 often resemble each other. I am prone to the anxiety of 6 and, despite wanting to be unique, I also want to feel accepted. Like an unhealthy 6w7, I can become dependent on other people more than is healthy.

My variant stacking is self-preservation, then sexual, then social. I am very concerned about physical comforts and my physical environment. I like pretty things and can be a little too materialistic. I like to make my home as welcoming and soft as possible. I'm also very intense and prefer deep, one-on-one, relationships. My sexual variant is close in strength to my self-preservation variant. My social variant is far weaker and I don't care much about fitting into society in general or pleasing groups (I care deeply about pleasing individuals).
unico_love: (Possession)
This is semi-true for me, aside from the trouble following rules (I like rules).

You are in a perpetual quest to find the new, the exciting. Emotionally volatile, you are known for sudden changes of opinion, of appreciation, and behavior. Following rules and established methods is difficult for you and the difficulties of higher education are usually quite daunting. Knowledge is best gained through an intimate association with the matter at hand. Usually driven by attitudes and desires of the group, you are talented in an established field of endeavor. Emotions come and go without a strong understanding of their causes. They are unexpected guests in an otherwise placid landscape. You live by your own codes of conduct, which can be noble or terrible depending on the individual. Authority is meaningless to you. You hate to be predictable, at all costs. Rarely verbally effusive, you can at times feel as if your feelings are too deep for words. You are very observant, but rarely express these observations to others.

http://www.hypnoid.com/psytest2.html
unico_love: (Default)
From: http://www.auracolors.com/en/about-your-colors.html
Long Quiz Results and Meanings )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I had a little bit of discussion on the personality cafe forum over my third type, but not too much. I've been looking up information comparing w5 to w7, but most of the information came from forums, so I'm not sure how accurate it is.

These are the reasons I think I'm a 6w7 third in my tritype instead of 6w5:
-I do like to learn and intellectualize some things, but not at all in a 5-type way
-I'm impulsive
-Switch between optimism and pessimism
-I'm virtually never cynical
-I openly express emotion
-I'm very emotional and know my emotions well
-I make choices quickly instead of weighing the options rationally
-My mood can change rapidly (though I think that's largely due to my bipolar)
-6w7 sometimes looks like 4w3 (my core type)

Also, this description for 6w7 fits me: "Average Sixes with a Seven-wing...tend to depend more on others for reassurance and... If they get conflicting advice, they tend to be more indecisive than the Sixes with Five-wings."
- Riso and Hudson, 'Personality Types', pg.257

My withdrawn nature can be attributed to being a core 4 with a self-preservation/sexual stacking; Self-preservation types are often more withdrawn.

Again, any opinions on the matter are welcome:-)
unico_love: (sailor moon beauty)
I've read that being an INFJ and an enneagram 4 is common and I am one myself. It seems a bit confusing, though, how the Fe and focus on the self in 4's combine. I do feel I'm Fe more than Fi. I care a lot about group values and harmony among people. I think a lot about what other people will think. I'm very expressive of my emotions and share myself with other people. Sometimes people influence me too easily because I care so much what people think. I do care about what people think of me.

As far as enneagram 4 goes, with a 3 wing, I don't think it is at all contradictory that I share my emotions so easily. People see me as emotional. Also having an interest in group harmony doesn't mean I don't try to be authentic (which is very important to me) -- I'm just selective about how I express myself to do the least social damage. I am very expressive of myself and creative and artistic. My relationships are very important to me (both Fe and 4) and I fear abandonment more than almost anything else. I don't cope with abandonment or betrayal well at all. I'm like a walking open wound. I want to be unique, yet accepted.

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unico_love

August 2013

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