Sick a Flu

Apr. 1st, 2013 09:20 pm
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Well this weekend wasn't the greatest. Saturday we had Cory, Kat, and Kat's husband, Chris come over. But that was later in the day. Earlier in the day I sat around as lazy as I usually am. And it was nice to see my friends, and we had pizza for dinner, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the computer while they were watching bad old B movies. And then I started feeling more ill. The tickle in my throat from that morning was followed by a full-blown sore throat, aches, and chills. I eventually went into my bedroom to type more privately, and stayed there the rest of the night. Eventually, I couldn't really move, so a shower wasn't an option. I stayed fully dressed and Michael gave me my night meds. I didn't wash my face or brush my teeth. I couldn't sleep. I took way too many pills (not going into detail here because it might trigger people with suicidal ideation or whom have attempted suicide on pills in the past). But it makes me more sure than ever I have Cushings, considering how many pills I was taking (not a ton all at once) and how they didn't make me sleepy. I must have a ton of cortisol still running through me at night. I am going to demand the late night salivary test for cortisol.

I eventually fell asleep and spent the rest of the day in bed, in bad pain, including in my fingers and toes. I got myself propped up at 6pm and Michael gave me the computer. As the hours wore on I did better and better and eventually showered. I slept last night. I woke up today still feeling ill, but not nearly as bad.

Michael and Dan went to Chicago to see the moving From Up on Poppy Hill, but I didn't feel well enough to go. I still feel sick and weak. We also called the scheduling center about my MRI, but there are no sooner appointments available. We left a message for my endocrinologist about my bone pain and asking for a bone scan. Didn't hear back from her today...
unico_love: Snow White (innocence unicorn)
Today has been a pretty good day. I received a very sweet message from a friend, received my final two bras in the mail.Bra TMI Again )

Michael and I watched the first hour of The Lord of the Rings final movie. I don't have much attention span for movies or television so we're breaking it up into four parts instead of just two. I read more of the Philip K Dick Exegesis book and checked out two more books from the library on the topic of obsessive love (I've read the books before, but don't clearly remember them).

I had to take a Klonopin around 5pm due to anxiety, but at least it's only been 2mg the past two times. It's really helping... My brother brought me home a giant hamburger with pesto sauce, green peppers, and tomato, but I'm too full to eat most of it:( I will eat most of it tomorrow. My mother also bought me a cherry Arctic Rush from Dairy Queen. My mother had to go to Dairy Queen to get her boyfriend Dilly bars because he feels really sick and is craving them. I hope he feels better soon...

I will probably try to go to bed early tonight so I don't wake up so late tomorrow.
unico_love: (Delight)
I've had anxiety since I woke up, which is disappointing since I had no anxiety yesterday. I took L-Tryptophan, which seems to be helping a bit. If I need to I will give in and take Klonopin later. I'm watching Beastly again. I have been watching it daily. I still have to finish rereading the book... I also have a new book in the same reality as Beastly to read soon. I had a Luna bar for breakfast. I might have a smoothie later. I also intend t paint. I think I'm slowly improving my painting...
unico_love: (Strange Beauty)
Today has been a good day:-) No anxiety at all so far, yay! I read Shadow and Evil in Fairy Tales, spent time on the personality forum I frequent, and went with Michael to Teal and Eric's apartment to watch Beastly with Teal. Then we stayed for dinner! I'm always so hungry due to Zyprexa and can't cook, whereas Teal can. I've found that because Zyprexa makes me so hungry I will eat almost anything. I used to be a very picky eater. Teal made noodles with chicken sausage, zucchini, onion, and tomato. I ate three bowls! I usually don't eat onions or zucchini. Zucchini and onion really doesn't have much of a taste when cooked and were completely palatable, tasting like the seasonings. Michael ran out to the nearby Whole Foods while the rest of us ate dinner to get me Luna Bars. I'm going to try and keep only healthy foods in the house so I don't binge eat on junk food, but I will eat when I'm hungry. I'd like to lose a few lbs (literally -- not that much), but I'm not going to weigh myself and will be patient. I gained mainly in my chest and thighs/butt.
unico_love: (crystal ball)
I think the last movie I watched was House, a Japanese movie from 1997. It is a very surreal horror movie where a bunch of girl's go to one of their aunt's houses, which happens to be haunted. The characters are slowly killed off by the house. There's a creepy cat, too.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Unico)
Amelie and Stardust.

30 Day Meme )
unico_love: (yellow girl with rose)
Today went pretty well. I have not needed Klonopin. I finished reading Stolen. My bathtub and sink are clogged and we keep using Draino and it's slowly getting better. My back room toilet is running and we don't know why or how long that has been going on. My mother looked at it and turned off the water valve for now. She has off work tomorrow so she can look at it again or have her boyfriend look at it.

Michael and I went to Caribou Coffee this afternoon because they had buy one coffee drink get one free. Tonight Michael and I went to the apartment of friends from church and had pizza and watched Tangled. Teal really loved the movie:-) I was glad. And we watched it on blu-ray for the first time and actually saw Rapunzel's freckles. I'm used to anxiety interfering with watching movies/television, but it didn't bother me tonight. We all talked for awhile after the movie, too.
unico_love: (sailor moon beauty)
Today went pretty well. First I went with Michael to his therapy appointment and sat in the waiting room. He discussed with his therapist how he has all these connecting conditions and how they would make sense as just autism/Asperger Syndrome (Sensory Integration Disorder, OCD, ADHD, social issues, Auditory Processing Disorder, etc.) Then we had half-priced milk shakes at Steak n' Shake. Then we went to a church friend's house to watch the first two Star Wars movies (chronologically) on blu-ray. I read most of The Time Traveler's Wife while the movies were playing. I've seen them in theater. Sunday after church we will finish the second and watch the third. I was a bit anxious earlier in the first movie, but by the time we had pizza for dinner I was calmer and it was easy to stay still and read. I didn't even need Klonopin. Now it's time for me to take my medications and go to bed.
unico_love: (sailor moon beauty)
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy


Mrs. Bates!

Day 7: Favorite movies

Disney movies (especially Beauty and the Beast), Amelie, American Psycho, Best in Show, Miyazaki movies (especially My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service), Zoolander, Mean Girls, the Shrek movies, Enchanted, The Princess Bride, Willow, Labyrinth, and Legend.

30 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Default)
233: what is the most quotable movie.. list a few of your favorite quotes?

American Psycho:
Patrick Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
David Van Patten: Ed Gein? The maitre 'd at Canal Bar?
Patrick Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s.
Craig McDermott: So what did he say?
Patrick Bateman: "When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right."
David Van Patten: And what did the other part think?
Patrick Bateman: "What her head would look like on a stick... "

David Van Patten: [re: business card] Good coloring.
Patrick Bateman: That's 'Bone'.

I love the business card scene:-)

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Delight)
Amelie, American Psycho, Zoolander, Stardust, Disney movies, Mean Girls and Best in Show, to name a few.

365 Day Meme )


Apr. 24th, 2011 10:10 pm
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Today went well, overall. I had trouble waking up and getting up this morning, which made me nauseated. I wore a nice pink dress today that I assumed was too small for me since I used to wear it when I was underweight, but it still fits. Michael and I exchanged Easter baskets (we gave each other much candy and I gave him a book, which made him decide to buy me a book). Then we went to church and were almost late. It was a really nice service about caring for the earth and caring for other people. Two Michael Jackson songs were done and there were children's drawings of love and earth from the projector. The children's choir sang. There was an excerpt from The Velvetine Rabbit (which we are also using in our commitment ceremony). I returned the book I borrowed and borrowed a dvd of the service I missed in March on Transcendentalism and Buddhism.

Then we ate lunch at my mother's house. She cooked a lot. Michael and Tommy (my brother) played a Mario Bros. game in the living room. I didn't try playing because the newer Mario games are too hard for me:( Then later this evening Michael and I watched Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. It just ended.

I did have a bit of an anger problem/panic attack at Walmart, but took a Klonopin to control it. Maybe I should have waited longer before taking medication, but I didn't feel like I could restrain myself from lashing out. I'm calm now and will probably go to sleep soon.
unico_love: (Amalthea)
March of the Penguins. A penguin was being eaten and I got hysterical and had to leave the theater. I don't deal well with "the circle of life" which is the major reason I don't watch more nature documentaries.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Delight)
Yesterday night was quite busy. During the day I mostly read and looked at a forum online. Someone was harassing me there:( It was incredibly stressful and I needed to take Klonopin. I don't know how people can think cyber-bullying is less painful than regular bullying. The internet feels "real" to me, certainly. And I'm still so emotionally fragile... If someone told me to kill myself I would probably think that's what I should do. I know that sounds terrible and irrational. I still put too much weight on what other people think of me and I don't have much self-worth yet, though that is slowly getting better.

Last night Michael and I went with Dan to the Music Box Theatre in Chicago to see the new Neon Genesis Evangelion movie. It was subtitled, which was nice. However, the listing online said the movie was at 8:45pm and really it was at 9:45pm! So after we bought our tickets (only $5 for Monday nights!) we went to the nearby Dairy Queen and had ice cream. Then they closed at 9pm and we went back to the theater. I read a bit (Scandinavian folktales) and a friend of Dan's arrived at the theater with his roommate, so they talked to Dan and Michael until the movie started. I was so worried it would be sold out and crowded, but there was hardly anyone there! They didn't even collect our tickets because they knew all of us hanging around had bought our tickets. The movie was shown in the bigger theater and it was beautiful! It's an old theater. Supposedly it's haunted, too (I think by a previous owner? He's supposed to be a friendly spirit). The film was very good and I was actually able to concentrate on it for the whole two hours! Maybe the Klonopin helped my attention span. Also I didn't have distractions around me. Also on Mondays it's buy one drink get one free or buy one popcorn get one free, so Michael gave me his extra popcorn. I generally dislike popcorn that isn't homemade (I only like it without salt and without butter -- completely plain), but I was quite hungry so I ate it all.

I was very tired after the movie and glad to get back home. I felt a bit ill and just hurried up and took my Miralax and medications and went to bed. I felt sick this morning, too. I'm feeling much better now. Michael may go with Dan to "Japan Night" at a bar tonight -- it's where they have Japanese bands play at a bar. I did enjoy one bar that played live music, so maybe I would like Japan Night, but I think I will be staying home.
unico_love: (Unico)
The Fantastic Adventures of Unico has been a favorite movie of mine since I was extremely young and it influenced how I think about people and interact with them. At college I made all my friends watch the movie. I've written posts about it in the past. The movie helped me see the good in people, even in people who superficially aren't that likable. I thought I could make everyone my friend just by expressing love. Sometimes when I have to part from someone I love I am reminded of how Unico always has to leave the friends he has made and go on to help other people. Since this movie is from so early in my life I don't know if it has "changed" me as much as "shaped" me.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Cat mask)
I had bad insomnia last night and laid in bed from 9:30pm until well after 1am. I slept in a bit late, the showered and put on my Renaissance costume. Michael is handing out candy to Trick-or-Treaters. We had on the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I wanted to see because I'd never seen it the whole way through. I didn't like it too much, though:-/ It made me very uncomfortable and I felt a bit trapped. The whole look of everything was very depressing to me. We will watch my Garfield Halloween special later and the new episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. We took some pictures of me in my costume and I will post them later (after I finally post zoo pictures...). Michael and I also went to Coldstone Creamery to get ice cream earlier today (I had cheesecake with oreo crumbles and Michael had cookie batter with M&M's). I have a new library book to read, too, though I've heard negative things about it (Torment). I've had a few slight down periods today, but I've mostly been happy. Michael seems to be having a good day. My mother left for her Florida vacation today, and she left me a little money, which is great because now I can buy some wet cat food and cat litter<3 I hope everyone else is having a great day!
unico_love: (Delight)
This is also from Facebook, but I want to post it here, too:-)

1. The Fountain
2. Enchanted
3. Ever After
4. Pulp Fiction
5. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (Yes, I know that's sad, but it really lifts my spirits and calms my anxiety)
6. The Last Unicorn
7. Lost in Translation
8. Disney's Beauty and the Beast
9. The Company of Wolves
10. The Sweet Hereafter
11. Tale of Two Sisters
12. Labyrinth
13. The Princess Bride
14. Best in Show
15. Persona
unico_love: (Unico)
Today was my anniversary with Michael. We exchanged gifts (he gave me the books Ego and Archetype and The Mist-Filled Path today). Then we saw Inception with my mother and brother which I liked very much, though I was confused at parts. I had to leave about half-way through the film to take Klonopin. It helped me focus on the movie better and I felt better. I found out I have a new, gross abscess and soaked in the bathtub for a short while, then we left for the Neverwhere play in the far north part of Chicago. It took 2 hours to get there! Traffic was horrible. And it was very hot and we had no air-conditioning. Michael didn't think we'd make the movie in-time, but we arrived at 3:45pm for the 4pm show. The parking lot shuttle was there and waiting, so we caught that and took it to the theater. They started letting people into the theater right after we got there. It is a very small theater. I liked the play a lot, as did Michael, but I started feeling sick during it, very thirsty and with a headache (probably due to dehydration). I hate buying water in public places because it's so expensive, but I bought water and took another Klonopin to see if it would help my headache and maybe relax me for the second half of the play (movies and such can make me anxious because they do not sufficiently distract me). It worked, though on our way home I got a headache again and was very hot. Michael and I went to the restaurant he wanted to eat at, but then we left because his OCD was bothering him and he was tired, and I also still felt sick and tired and had no real in eating there in the first place. Michael bought me a sandwich elsewhere and just ordered himself a pizza (what he was going to get to eat anyway). I watched an episode of Xena and now we will probably watch some anime together before I go to bed.

Wish Bear

Jul. 4th, 2010 01:03 pm
unico_love: (Unico)
I'm in a very nostalgic mood today (though I am most days). I watched some My Little Pony commercials and songs on youtube today and watched some episodes on one of my dvd's. Then I decided to watch the first Care Bears movie, which I'm watching now. It reminded me of the Care Bears I had that my father gave away without my permission. And then I thought of the giant Wish Bear my mother gave me on my 20th birthday. I was very depressed/entering a mixed episode then and my mother gave it to me with a note that she wished for me to feel better. My mother can be so nice to me... I have Wish Bear next to me right now and have been hugging her. My favorite Care Bear is probably Swiftheart Rabbit, one of the Care Bears my father gave away. Michael gave me his Swiftheart Rabbit, though. And I bought a small Swiftheart when the Care Bears anniversary was going on a few years ago.


unico_love: (Default)

August 2013



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