unico_love: (Default)
Solemn Mermaid - 1/2/13

I know you hate the sappy sentimentality
The dribble and the drabble
The pathetic passing as poetry
You never seemed to get
Just give me one chance
Even that won't be enough, I bet
But still there's hope
Still I pine for your haunting eyes
To pass by me once more

I idolized you, lithe yet alluring mermaid
Porcelain with hair onyx beneath the waves
A face and figure us earth girls die for -- literally
Endless nights I pinched my belly, lamented my empty breasts
For I could not compare to your curvacious perfection
Held in proper modesty, which could never hide your physical gifts

And intelligent as anyone, much more than many
Reading French classics when other children played on the monkey bars
Their whild deeds held no interest to you
Instead, you tipped up your nose
You fed the stray cats the meat you didn't want
You read Les Miserables with ferver and passion
No other eight year old could grasp, tormenting you instead
Tragically trying to break the spirit of an angel on earth

In awe I learned such things
I wanted to hug you, hold you
Make you know you were good and holy
The God you prayed to had not forsaken you
You were always such a good little girl
At the Kingdom Hall
Faithfully attending and sharing and participating
You believed, you prayed, you took the pain and deepened your belief
God loved you deep into the ocean you came from, right through the seaweed and coral

It might be hard to understand why things happened as they did
Why you must suffer so much more than me
Or even than others who live to torment the innocent
Darling, I have no answers
But my embrace is here if you ever want to return
As is his, the one most deeply hurt
The one you care about so at your core
Don't let a good dream go
Don't box yourself into old-fashioned duties that don't make anyone happy

Rules sometimes outlive their purpose
You can be good, darling, you are already good, darling
Just be careful how you tread, your mistakes are forgiven
Your sins are so minor
Forgive yourself, that's all you need to do
So come back to us
No need to dissociate, no need to destroy relationships
You can love us all and we can love you back
We'll make a chain of daisies and put it on your innocent head
Hold hands with your husband and give him a kiss
Then let yourself smile at us -- a real smile
Knowing we are all pure and we are all works in progress

You do not need to suffer for your faith, dear one
I love you, he loves you, God loves you, your husband loves you
So fear nothing, and give everything your most honest effort
Life need not be so complicated
Go for a swim, pretty little mermaid
Take a break and think and feel
Let the salty water hide your tears -- never your beauty
We'll all be waiting here patiently
unico_love: (Snow White)
Wow. An ex-friend certainly went to great lengths to break Michael's heart. She's proven herself to be quite the little liar.... All those morals and ethics she talks about? Non-existent. All for show. Can't say I feel too sorry for her about her problems now that her "true self" has been revealed. Yikes.
unico_love: Snow White (innocence unicorn)
Great website: http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/
unico_love: (Unico)
28. What is your love language?
Words of Affirmation, with all the others pretty equal and closely behind.

30 Day List Meme )
unico_love: (Unico)
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Being reassured that I am loved and accepted -- especially when specifics are given by someone who does love me.
30 Day Meme List )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I was just thinking about how I communicate with people and wondering if I ever sound "fake" because I tend to like people easily. There's only one person I really dislike, and that is an ex-boyfriend's mother who just happens to be the most evil person I have ever met (and that's saying a lot). Even Him and other ex-boyfriends who mistreated me, bullies, etc. I don't dislike them. I am perplexed by them. I am angry at Him (I'm over the other ex's), confused by Him, etc. but I don't feel an actual *dislike* of Him. Maybe that's partly why it's so hard for me to get over him and just brush him off. I want to know his underlying true feelings and intentions.
unico_love: Snow White (innocence unicorn)
A unicorn wandered through the hills and the valleys, sad that she could never find one of her own kind. She saw birds and squirrels, deer, and even horses -- which humans often mistook her for, but she did not see unicorns. One day she wandered deep into a forest, lost and scared. And then, in the distance, saw a spark of white. She ran and finally saw the mysterious, still creature! It was another unicorn drinking from a lake! The unicorn at the lake looked up and saw her and they shared a moment of ecstasy -- knowing they had each finally found one of their own kind. Their love built great over time and they lived happily ever after.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

30 Day Meme )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
I would rather love one person. I love very intensely and couldn't handle going through a lot of relationships/break ups. Every break up has been very hard on me and I hate losing people -- even when they are abusive. I tend to be codependent.

Also:

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~ Goethe

Just wanted to add that quote here so I have it preserved:-)

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Snow White)
Definitely, especially if the attraction is gone from both people. I have never had this happen for me, however.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: Snow White (innocence unicorn)
Of course. Anyone can fall in love.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
day 103: do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes, and I have experienced it. I don't really compartmentalize "love" into romantic love vs. friendship love and I have experienced love at first sight both with close friends and people I became romantically involved with. Though I also think with at least one person it was more extreme limerence (though some consider that a real kind of love, anyways).

day 104: three words you cant go a day without using
"Neat," "okay," and "good."

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Unico)
Happiness is when you feel comfortable, at ease, full of positive energy, feel love towards other people and the world as a whole, you are enjoying yourself, and bad memories/worries aren't bothering you. To me, happiness is intricately tied to love.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Unico)
I believe love is both an emotion and an action. You feel a deep compassion in your heart, think positive things about a person, accept their faults without ill will, and want to do things to make that person happy. You can love a single person, an animal, the environment, the human race, or the whole universe, just in different ways. Love can bring pain when it is not reciprocated or is abandoned and it can bring great joy when the love makes a difference in the world or is returned.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I am having an ecstatic experience right now. This is my first one in quite awhile. It feels like "going home." I feel like I've been away on a long, arduous trip, separated from important parts of myself that I am just now getting back. I feel like I forgive everyone, bear no ill will toward anyone, and deeply love everyone. I feel union with God and the universe. I feel pure and good instead of my usual feelings of inferiority. Everyone who has hurt me or others is hurting themselves at a very deep level -- even if superficially, right now, they don't feel it. Someday they will. And in my beliefs, someday they will turn away from that cruelty and feel love, because deep down they are love.

I haven't meditated today yet, but I'm finding it pretty easy to meditate and so far have not had any bad experiences from it (like falling into negative obsessions or seeing horrible things mentally). Unfortunately my anxiety often returns pretty quickly after meditating:( But, overall, my anxiety is much better than even a couple weeks ago. Maybe I am heading in an upward trend...
unico_love: (childlike empress)
I believe that all living and nonliving beings have love at their core. All of us have a divine spark in us which is filled with love. Loving is our truest nature. We sometimes get away from that and act in unkind ways, but I believe eventually all beings will return to love.

365 Day Meme )
unico_love: (crystal ball)
Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Taking this literally, I guess I could live without anyone, as long as there were still other people around. And I could live without anything other than food, water, shelter, etc. But I would find it very difficult to live without someone who could help me (the way Michael and my mother do). I can't live independently. So that's very important, though there are various people who could fill this role for me. And I would find it very difficult to live without love, both having people to love and being loved in return. I was very isolated in adolescence and couldn't get really close to friends due to my family situation and I wasn't close to my family. That was hard, though I wasn't depressed. I was just dissociated. I don't think I could do that again, though. People are too important to me.


30 Day Meme )
unico_love: (Unico)
I finally finished rereading Sailor Moon Super S. I should read a bit of Sailor Moon every night -- it always improves my mood. It makes me very happy and the world seems like a brighter and kinder place. I don't relate to any of the main characters too much (I relate most to Sailor Saturn), but I relate to qualities within each of them. All of their motivations and feelings and desires make sense to me. Love is the ultimate feeling and the ultimate goal. Love always wins in Sailor Moon. The senshi are all friends who love each other deeply, as I love my own friends. Appreciating what your loved ones do for you is important. Even ordinary people can at least mentally be a kind, loving ruler of their own kingdom. We each are our own world; we create our own world. Everyone protects their own inner kingdom and can choose whether to battle and be competitive and harsh with others and their kingdoms or choose love and mutual support. Like Usagi (Sailor Moon) and Mamoru (Tuxedo Mask), Michael and I can love innocently and contentedly, taking care of one another and teaching one another to love more deeply. There are difficulties we must face, but somehow we will always cope. The world can be beautiful and filled with hope. Dreams do come true. My dream is to be happy and to be with my loved ones, maybe even helping others' dreams come true and to help others feel loved and important. Those are obtainable dreams and wonderful dreams. I am blessed in so many ways.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
In Authentic Happiness it mentioned the importance of having a meaning to your life. Sometimes in bipolar episodes I would dwell a lot on my life purpose and whether I could even justify continuing to live at the expense of other living things. Sometimes I thought that maybe there was a trick to being alive and we were all meant to kill ourselves so we would no longer kill other things in order to exist. I'd also obsess over what choice I made would benefit the most other living beings (including micro-organisms). However, I generally maintained the outlook that the world was an enchanting place that was primarily good and human beings were also fascinating and primarily good. I never really felt hopeless to affect people and the world in positive ways, though I would be keenly aware of the times I had negative impacts.

Usually, though, I have had a feeling of meaning in life and my idea of that hasn't changed much. Around age 12 I became more aware of other living creatures and how I didn't want to hurt them and wanted to do good. For me the purpose in life is to help other living beings as much as you can while also enjoying your life and finding happiness and hope in whatever you can. The world is a good place with many tools you can use to improve circumstances for yourself and others. Kindness and mercy are of the utmost importance. Forgiveness should always be cultivated -- though it took awhile to see that forgiveness didn't have to mean having abusive people in your life. Being grateful and aware of how much others sacrifice for you was also always important. Also I've always believed in God and prayed to God, though I see God as everywhere and largely beyond comprehension. For me God was always intimately tied to my beliefs about meaning in life. I want to experience God as purely and openly as possible and allow love to fill my life. I equate God with love and love in the world is of the utmost importance to me. I want to feel as much love as I can and to spread love to others and reassure living things that they are loved and appreciated. Life is difficult and filled with many roadblocks, but being able to see the good in life and fill yourself with love and happiness, contributing to the love and happiness of as many beings as possible and in as much depth as possible, makes living purposeful and worthwhile even in the darkest times.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
To me love means caring about someone unconditionally, even if you get angry at them or can no longer communicate with them because the relationship turned toxic. I believe everyone is capable of love, and while there are selfish aspects to love (such as desiring to be loved back), love often takes you outside of yourself and allows you to focus on another person, realizing how amazing they really are (because everyone is really amazing in some way). When you love someone you will make sacrifices for the person as long as it doesn't sacrifice your integrity and the relationship doesn't become imbalanced. Though I believe even people who aren't good at taking care of themselves and give in to others too much are perfectly capable of real love. I believe love can be an emotion, as well as a general state of mind. You can love individuals and you can love the world or humanity as a whole. I believe love is different for every person and every thing/person one loves has a unique resonance to it. I believe there is a fine line between romantic love and other kinds of love. I think if we focused more on being firm yet compassionate and tried to understand other people's perspectives we would love and forgive more and make the world a better place. However, this can be difficult and some people take advantage of the love others give. I believe animals and spirits and God and possibly non-living things are all capable of love and love is the center of existence.


30 Day Meme List )

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August 2013

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