unico_love: (Amalthea)
I miss my father. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense, since I have PTSD due to him, but there were a lot of good times with him -- especially before he got totally crazy. Even after he got totally crazy he had his good times. He used to be close to our cat Riff Raff, a big semi-feral black cat. Riff Raff would yowl and rub against my father's legs as my father stood in the kitchen, listening to the radio and drinking beer. I guess those weren't fun times *for me*, but I find the fact that my father liked a cat to be endearing. We're also planning to go to Disney World (hopefully September, but possibly August so my brother can go to culinary school in the fall). My father always took us to Disney World. I feel guilty that the last few years we went I was cold to him and refused to ride with him and even convinced him not to go on a ride with us once. What he did was wrong, but he was mentally ill... I know he really did love all of us.
unico_love: (Default)
Today while on our way to do errands Michael and I found a timid, scared looking cat sitting right by the busy road. We stopped and picked her up and went to the nearby animal clinic to see if she was microchipped. She wasn't. They took down the cat's information in case someone called. The other clinics are closed now and Monday we will call them all (and Animal Control) to alert them to the found lost cat. She is tan and brown stripes with white patches and blue eyes. She is very docile, purrs, likes to be held, etc. She looks well-fed and well-groomed. She is clearly a pet and not a stray. Michael is putting up pictures of the cat with his phone number around the area we found the cat. My mother won't let us keep her at her house:( Mrs. Bates already hates other cats (and misbehaves because of it). We can't take in another cat. Our house is too small, smells like cat, our current cats don't behave, and we don't have the money. It's hard enough affording three cats. I'm hoping the owner shows up; otherwise we may have to take her to the no-kill shelter near where Michael used to live:( Though I do think she'd be adopted quickly because of her looks and gentle demeanor.
unico_love: (Cat mask)
Today at 8:30am Mrs. Bates was taken by my mother to be dropped off at the groomer. I was worried they'd say her matts were too severe and we'd need to take her to the vet to be groomed (way more expensive). I also worried they'd say she was matted because I let her get fat and I was irresponsible with her, so I really didn't want to go there. I was still really tired when it was time to pick her up, so my mother went alone and just wrote out one of my checks (we're both on the account).

Mrs. Bates didn't like the bathing so they skipped that and just shaved her down. She was very noisy, as usual, with a raspy whine, but she would be quiet as long as her nose or head was scratched. The groomer really liked her and said she would take Mrs. Bates if ever we didn't want her. She didn't try to bite or anything. The groomer said it's difficult for cats to groom themselves in the area that was worst on Mrs. Bates and she didn't say Mrs. Bates was too chubby. In fact, shaved down she doesn't look fat at all. I've been thinking she was overweight, but she probably isn't right now. When I took her to the vet last year the vet didn't think she was fat, but I still thought she was. Though he did think Bunny was fat, which I don't believe. She's a very long cat and her tummy droops a little, but her sides are quite thin.

I will have to take a picture of Mrs. Bates shaved down.
unico_love: (Default)
Today I took my cat, Joey, to the nearby groomer to get his claws trimmed. He was very scared of the dogs and was much more well-behaved than with the vet. The groomer said he was a Maine Coon! Nobody ever told me that before. From what I've read his behavior is very Maine Coon-like (a lap cat, very tolerant of being picked up in all different ways, purrs loudly and like a chirp, very affectionate, etc.) I have to try to brush my cats daily to prevent them from matting or shedding as much. Mrs. Bates is very matted. I may take her to a veterinarian to get groomed. I don't know yet.

I was a bit on-edge earlier and was making Michael anxious with my anxiety, so I took a Klonopin. I feel better now. I've been reading a lot of today. I might do a tarot reading soon and hopefully tonight we will be going to the Japanese Marketplace. I want to get a sandwich there:-) Maybe even two and I will bring one home... I still have extra cash left from our trip to San Francisco.

Tonight Michael and I will watch the anime version of "The Tales of Earthsea." I read the books and liked them well enough. The writing style wasn't the most interesting to me, but I liked the ideas and themes actually in the book, though.
unico_love: (Delight)
Yesterday was our last day in San Francisco. We checked out of the hotel a little after 11am and left our luggage behind the desk so we could go to Fisherman's Wharf. We went to the aquarium, which was nice. Moon jellies again! And we pet the string rays. We returned there later in the day. We walked up and down the wharf, taking pictures, and looked in various stores. I bought myself a pair of lavender lounge pants because they only cost $10 and the ones I do have and wear to bed have holes in them from the cats' claws (mainly Joey's). There was a store called "Fairy Tales" with lots of Amy Brown and Jessica Galbreth prints and fairy figurines. I was very tempted to buy many things, but they were fairly expensive and I don't have much room for more collectibles. I did get a small migraine after the aquarium -- headache, lightheaded and dizzy, and severe nausea. I took 8mg Zofran and still felt nauseated for hours. It was also very sunny and hot, which wasn't helping. I wore a sweater and was sweating like crazy. We ate breakfast at a doughnut shop and lunch/dinner at In-n-Out Burger. We saw the sea lions one last time.

Then we headed back to the hotel and they called a taxi for us. It was kind of expensive, but worth it. My feet were really sore, I still didn't feel well, and it was crowded. We were at the airport a long time and I read and tried to sleep on the floor. Our flight was at 11:55pm and full. We couldn't sleep on the airplane (I never can). Michael's OCD was pretty bad starting when we got to the San Francisco Airport and was bad at O'Hare when we went to get our luggage (which took awhile). My mother arrived and took us home and we went to bed. Mrs. Bates seems to be feeling better for right now.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Today was a pretty good day, though right now I'm quite depressed, partly because I didn't buy more water for my cats and partly because Mrs. Bates still doesn't seem to be feeling well. She seemed to feel fine yesterday, but we think she's constipated again... And she only wants to eat the dry food, not the wet, which makes her more constipated.

Today Michael and I woke up early (after going to bed very early) and we took the bus to Japantown. There were performers all throughout the day for Japan relief and we donated some money. Also there was a garage sale nearby for Japan relief and I bought a used copy of Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame on dvd. Michael bought a J-pop cd. Japantown was much cleaner than Chinatown, but things were also much more expensive. There were lots of neat stores, though! I had chicken teriyaki and rice for lunch. It only came with chopsticks, which I don't know how to use, so I think I used them upside-down and sometimes I just resorted to my hands:P In an anime store Michael bought us a not too expensive stuffed Totoro. He also bought me a little zodiac dog figurine (my Chinese zodiac animal is a dog) and a little print thing that has Japanese characters and the English translation under it -- it says "Dreams come true." There were a variety of sayings or words to choose from.

We also ate chocolate-filled tai yaki (a fish-shaped pastry) from a stand. It tasted like chocolate chip pancakes and was pretty good. Later while exploring the outskirts of Japantown we shared chocolate frozen yogurt (there was no vanilla and I wasn't sure I'd like the "original" flavor, though we should have tried it).

The bus ride back to Fisherman's Wharf was quite crowded. Afterwards we bought Michael and his mother sweatshirts similar to the one I just bought yesterday. Then we went back to the room for a little bit. Then we went to Fisherman's Wharf again and walked down the streets, ate dinner at In n' Out Burger (which we don't have where we live), and we walked further down the wharf where you could see Alcatraz well. We forgot the camera, though, after returning from Japantown (where there are cherry blossoms in bloom!), so we'll go by the wharf another day and take pictures there. Michael and I walked through some of the surrounding streets, browsing, and we bought sliced pineapple and watermelon from Safeway (a grocery store). The staff of the hotel just brought us up a refrigerator free of charge so we're keeping the fruit there. Michael was going to buy me Ghiridelli dark chocolate filled with mint or raspberry filling (we also passed the Ghiridelli building/restaurant on the wharf), but I decided I would rather have fruit instead. I'm still quite full, but will eat more of the fruit for breakfast. Tomorrow we plan on going to San Francisco Zoo. I think I'm going to get ready for bed now.
unico_love: (Cat mask)
Partly taken from an email about today so far:

Church went well and Michael's OCD was fine there. During the offering they played a Tchaikovsky piece:-) I love Tchaikovsky. Next week the sermon is supposed to be on Transcendentalism and Buddhism and I desperately want to go, but Michael will not be here to take me. I asked my mother to go with me and her first response was "no" because she "didn't want to." It really upset me because I hardly ask her to take me anywhere and it's only about 15 minutes away and this is a one occasion thing. Finally she said maybe she will drop me off. Then the following weekend I will miss church because we will be in San Francisco. I'd rather not miss church two weeks in a row:-/

The Pet Expo was fun, but very overloading due to the crowds. It was nice to see all the animals and pet them. I cried a little because so many were up for adoption and needed homes. If I could afford it and knew I didn't have to move into an apartment soon I would have probably tried to adopt another cat or even a dog. They were all so cute. There were rabbits, a guinea pig, and sugar gliders, too. Michael really wanted to go to the Pet Expo, but didn't think I would be willing to go this year since I have a bad memory of it from last year, but Michael really wanted to go and I didn't want him to be sad so I said I would go. I'm glad I did. I get lost very easily, so Michael led me around the huge building. I bet he will be leading me around the streets of San Francisco, too. I get turned around easily. Oh yes! And a cockatoo sat on Michael's shoulder and said "hello" twice:-) He can also say "hi" and "I love you." It was really cute.
unico_love: (Delight)
1. Browsing Target (tempted to buy a dress and Jenga)
2. Michael buying me a maple cream chocolate (yummy!)
3. Watching Care Bears
4. Reading Vampire Diaries The Return: Midnight and A Field Guide to Otherkin
5. Making it back safely and seeing my cats

Note: Mrs. Bates seems to be constipated. She's the one pooping everywhere. I'm going to just give them wet food and water and see if that helps, otherwise we will take her to Michael's vet after his car is fixed.
unico_love: (Default)
My mother says I wouldn't like Texas -- or at least not the parts they went to (including Houston). But the area they were at had been hit by a hurricane a couple years ago, so that could be part of why there were so many stray, wild animals everywhere. There was a black labrador with two puppies that were going into the remains of a house and the full-grown dog/mother was snarling and barking at my mother and her boyfriend even when they weren't at all close and were walking away. My mother said if she could have she would have taken in the puppies, even if the mother, if the mother wasn't acting so "nutty."

Seeing all the street dogs and cats reminded her of Mrs. Bates, who was also a stray we rescued while traveling. Mrs. Bates was very good with humans, though. She had obviously been a cat with a home as she was spayed and declawed when we found her. She would meow a lot and we first found her begging two men for ice cream at Dairy Queen. She was very friendly and just wanted food. We thought she was a kitten because she had a very short, small build and was severely underweight (she weighed about 4lbs at the time). I convinced my mother to let me take her and she went crazy for my ice cream. She dove for it. She had PTSD, though, and was severely afraid of feet (she would attack them) and would hide from men for years. It seems likely that a man used to kick her. She's over all that now, though.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Pictures! )
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Today I was quite anxious. This was due to some situations that make me very anxious normally, but I also might have forgotten to take Ritalin today. For me the greatest difference I notice with Ritalin now is that it helps my anxiety during the day. Michael and I left his house in the early afternoon and we had to do a bunch of errands and spending a lot of time in the car, pulling in and out of places, going on the highway, etc. all make me very anxious. I'm terrified of getting in another car accident. I also don't like being in stores sometimes because they are very chaotic with people circling around. We went inside two Walmarts, which is my most hated store (followed by grocery stores). Michael did buy me another junior-sized mocha milkshake for me from Steak n' Shake. I love them and they are so cheap in the afternoon when they are discounted.

I also was super anxious about voting because I worried there would be a line, especially as we arrived at my polling place (my old elementary school) shortly after school was dismissed and shortly before rush hour. I almost started crying because of it. But there was hardly anyone in the gym, where voting took place. So that went okay. Then we got home and had to take care of the animals and clean up. At first I was stressed, but after the cleaning was done and my things were put away I felt a lot calmer. I feel perfectly fine now -- better than most nights as of late.

We are watching The Facts of Life which is soothing to me. I didn't watch Who's the Boss? today because I just saw the final episode yesterday (which I've been waiting a long time to finally see!). Now it's starting over from the beginning and I've seen those episodes recently. I also saw The Nanny the past two nights and I've always really loved that show, even when it was still airing new episodes and I technically wasn't allowed to see if due to my strict father. Hopefully I can play that in the background tonight as I read or something:-) I'm glad to see my kitties again, though my house smells like cat no matter how much we clean it:( My old apartment always smelled fine so I'm hoping when I move back to an apartment I can prevent that musty cat smell from taking over.
unico_love: (childlike empress)
Two Pictures of Me and One of Mrs. Bates )
unico_love: (Unico)
Today I woke up feeling awful, as usual, and took another dose of Ibuprofen at 7:30am. I stayed up then since laying down feels worse than sitting up and I felt like I was awake for the day. By early afternoon I was feeling a lot better so Michael and I went to a state park an hour and a half south of me called Starved Rock. I had never been there before. Where I live there's mostly forest, but an hour or so south you start getting into total prairie. We stopped by Michael's house on the way and I gave his sister a "Get Well" card since she'd just had back surgery. She has very bad scoliosis. The drive there didn't take as long as I'd expected, though I did need to take a Klonopin because I've spent weeks imagining we'd die in a car crash on the way to Starved Rock. We walked on a couple nature trails and my knee got twisted a little. It still hurts. The nature trails were nice, though, and we took good pictures which I hope to post later. My face was beet red from the heat and I had some minor digestive problems, but mostly I was okay. Then Michael and I went to eat at a small restaurant/ice cream shop in the tiny town next to Starved Rock. Then we returned because it was time for the Acrocats and Rock Cats show. It's a performance of cats and other animals doing tricks and it helped to support a local cat shelter. There were cats in the lodge waiting to be adopted, including a bunch of kittens. I saw the friendly calico cat get adopted:) I found the show really cute. There was a cuddly groundhog that wore a 4th of July hat and drove a car (it was electronic and he pressed on something to make it go forward) and he raised a flag. A chicken beat a cat at bowling and a contest to see who could ring a bell the most. There were other cute animals and the cats did all kinds of neat things. It was fun to see. I'm glad I was well enough to go. I have a headache now, but I'm trying to only take pain medication for my abdominal pain. I may go to bed soon.
unico_love: (Unico)
The cat shelter went well. I did help with cleaning, but I didn't have to clean the litterboxes. Bruiser is now out of his cage and was hopping along. He still retreats to the cage a lot, though, because he sees it as his. My allergies didn't bother me at all:) I did take a Klonopin before going, just in case. It probably wasn't necessary, though. I will have to refill my Klonopin soon...

I received a wonderful surprise today -- Izzy gave me the book Clockwork Phoenix 3! I loved the first two and had not realized the third had come out. Time passes so fast for me and it feels so recent that the second came out. I can't wait to read it, but I should finish The Unicorn Chronicles first. I'm going to write my poem in a minute and then maybe eat some oatmeal. Then I will read.
unico_love: (Amalthea)
I took a Klonopin because I was feeling scared of cleaning the cat shelter tomorrow; I feel guilty. I feel like I should just learn to tolerate my anxiety and work through it. I am going to go help out tomorrow, no matter what my anxiety, and I will take another Klonopin if I have to, but I'm trying not to take it if I don't need it. I am not good at dealing with new situations or making mistakes and I don't know the process of cleaning the cat shelter very well. I don't know if I have social phobia so much as a big fear of making mistakes or getting in the way or letting people down. I don't worry about how people see me -- I just want to not get in the way. I keep trying to remind myself that tomorrow will be a good experience for me. I took some 24 hour allergy medication just now, in case it makes me tired. I keep reminding myself, also, that cleaning the shelter is very important for the cats and a very important task. I think the presence of the cats, especially the affectionate cats, might soothe me while I'm doing my tasks. If my allergies aren't too bad I will stay after a little bit to give the cats some attention (especially Bruiser).
unico_love: (crystal ball)
I just agreed to clean at the cat shelter tomorrow from 9am-11am. Fortunately I just bought over-the-counter allergy medication (I also take a prescription medication for allergies/asthma called Singulair). I hope it helps! And I plan on showering and changing as soon as I get home from the shelter, even if I don't feel too sick. Lately my allergies have been bothering me more than usual. Part of this could be that my bedroom air filter needs to be replaced. I'm a bit nervous about cleaning because I just have gotten brief run-throughs about it before and I don't know the details of how to do it. Hopefully the person I work with is patient. If I get too anxious about it I will take Klonopin. I haven't needed any for the past two days. I hope I can spend a little time with Bruiser tomorrow, too. I hope he is getting enough attention... I really wish I didn't have allergies to animals!
unico_love: (Amalthea)
Today I volunteered at the cat shelter again. I think I'm going to mainly help with socializing the cats and I was told each time I go someone who knows the place better will tell me a cat to socialize with who needs more help socializing with people and I will spend time with them. Today I spent time with a 2 year old male cat named Bruiser. He had a leg broken so badly they thought they were going to have to amputate it:( They didn't, though, and for now he lives in a (big) cage by himself. He gets lonely, I was told, which is understandable. I first pet him in his cage, which made him very happy, but then he crawled into my lap and I pet him for at least an hour. He was purring and very sweet. He eventually crawled back in his cage to eat and I spent time with some of the other cats. One of the cats is named Jigglypuff, which I find so funny. My allergies are bothering me a little now, unfortunately.

And when I came home one of my water tanks in the basement started gushing water, so now my water is turned off. My mother is calling the plumber and is going to try to have my tank replaced today. Michael was supposed to come here today, so I hope that everything goes as planned. I will work on my OCD and Bipolar workbooks in the meantime. I should also read my Unicorn Chronicles book...
unico_love: (Unico)
I slept a super-long time again. Now I'm waiting for Michael and his friend Dan to arrive so we can go to Chicago today. Then I will spend the night at Michael's house and tomorrow after his dentist appointment we will come back to my house and I will go to volunteering orientation with April for the no-kill cat shelter. Hopefully I arrive back home before April gets here, but she could at least get my mother to let her in my house if I have to come home later than when she will be able to be dropped off. Michael has a bunch of library books for me to read and I want to read more of my Borges Collected Fictions book. I haven't read it in a long time. It's not so hot here today. I'm babysitting my mother's dog because she's gardening and the dog was getting neurotic. Bunny is scared of him and is spending most of her time high up where the dog can't get her (though the dog just wants to be friends). So far my mood is fine today and I'm looking forward to spending time with people.
unico_love: (Amalthea)
Joey kept waking me up early this morning by knocking stuff off my nightstand. He does that when he wants attention. This time he knocked my glasses/glasses case somewhere I couldn't find it. I can't see well at all without my glasses, so I was feeling along and just couldn't find it. Finally, back in bed, I ran my fingers along a side board, by my mattress, and I found my glasses/glasses case in the cracks. I was very glad. I was too tired today to go to the farmer's market with my mother and brother, but they brought me cookies. I will probably see April and Phil later today. I also intend to finish reading Prince Caspian today. If the library is open tomorrow I'd like to go.
unico_love: (Default)
This morning I went to the cat shelter and they were having a bake sale. There were tons of cats everywhere (it's an old house and the owner of the shelter lives upstairs). There is a special room for sick/special needs cats, and there are feral cats there that tend to stay up on top of the cages and stuff. Most of the cats are free to go where they want. They need the most help with cleaning so I'm going to help out cleaning at least one afternoon/evening a week. I'll go to the official orientation June 8, though today I already learned where things are kept and how they do things. April might volunteer, too:-) I didn't have any allergy reactions in there, so I think it will work out. It took awhile to learn everything and I used to be so allergic to cats just stepping in there would have made me have a bad asthma attack and given me bad hives.

Then April and Phil came by and took me to the town fair where we looked at the crafts. April bought a couple necklaces -- one for her and one for a friend. I'm trying not to spend my money this summer. I really need to rebuild my checking account.

Soon Michael will be here and then we will go back to April and Phil's house to play games.

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